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Check.
Sept 3, 2009 17:42:00 GMT -5
Post by Dale on Sept 3, 2009 17:42:00 GMT -5
WE SMASH INTO:
RING. RING.
CUT TO: INT. LIQUOR SHOP.
ALL ONE SHOT.
The bell sounds as DER, our main character, strolls into the liquor store. We follow him to the back of the store, where he looks at the candy and gum shelves. He scans the ones available, and sees nothing new. He knows this store pretty well. He grabs a single pack of gum and heads to the front of the store.
CASHIER
Having a good day?
DER
I hope.
The cashier takes the gum and scans it.
CASHIER
1.25.
Der, who had a buck in his hand, digs into his jacket for another dollar.
DER
Hold on a sec-
He grabs another dollar and places it on the counter.
DER
There.
CASHIER
Okay.
The cashier rings it up. As he counts out the change, Der looks around, almost paranoid.
CASHIER
Here.
The cashier hands him his change.
CASHIER
Do you want a bag?
Der looks at the cashier strangely, then at the tiny, credit card size of the gum package.
DER
No thanks.
Der grabs the gum and shoves it into his pocket.
He turns to leave, when-
THREE MASKED GOONS run into the shop, one of whom holds up a gun.
GOON #1
This is a hold up!
At the mere sight of them, Der turns and runs like a bat out of hell out of shot.
GOON #2
Lets go, chap!
Goon 2 grabs the cashier and drags him over the counter onto the floor.
We pan over to Goon 1 and Goon 3. Goon 3 is taking a chug from a mini water bottle, his black stocking mask pulled up to reveal his mouth.
GOON #1
What the hell do you think you're doing?
GOON #3
I'm thirsty.
GOON #1
We come to rob a liquor shop and you decide to steal a mini water bottle?
Goon 3 puts it down.
GOON #3
Well, I can't well rob anything if I'm thirsty, can I?
GOON #1
Pull your mask back down, you're embarrassing us.
We pan over to Goon #2, who has jumped over the counter.
CASHIER 2
Stop!
Cashier 2 has grabbed one of the plentiful bottles in the store, and smashes it on Goon #2's head.
GOON #2
Ahh! What the hell!?!
GOON #2 falls back, crawling back over the counter towards Goon 3 and 1, who help him up.
GOON #3
Let's get out of here!
GOON #1
We haven't stolen anything yet!
GOON #3
Well, here-
Goon 3 grabs a six pack of beer.
GOON #1
You're willing to risk jail for armed robbery for a f*cking six pack of beer?!
GOON #2
Let's go, damnit!
They run, supporting Goon 2, out of the store.
We follow them into the parking lot, where Goon 3 tosses the beer into the car through the window.
GOON #1
Careful! This is a new car!
GOON #3
Jesus, Alex!
Goon 2 begins to open the door when-
Another car, slightly nicer, a convertible,s screeches into the driveway. 3 are inside, including the driver.
It stops right in front of the three goons, who looked suprised. Out of the passenger seat gets up DOUG, slightly paunchy, looks tough as hell. The driver and the other passenger stand up, framing Doug between two very strong looking thugs.
DOUG
Which one of you bozos is Alex Lee?
Silence.
Doug sighs and draws a nightstick from his back pocket. He points it at each of them.
DOUG
Which one of you is Alex Lee?
Goon #1 points quickly at Goon #3.
GOON #3
What the hell?
Almost simotaneously as Goon 3 talks, Doug headbutts Goon 1 in the face.
GOON #1
Augh!
Doug grabs Goon 1 by the neck, and takes off his mask, revealing ALEX LEE. Scrawny, yet has a demeanor of "Shut the hell up" around him.
ALEX
Doug, you son of a-
DOUG
Ah, Alex, always trying to blame someone else.
Doug throws Alex into the convertible, and the thug in the back seat smacks him on the head, knocking him out.
He turns back to the Goons.
DOUG
Thats it.
Doug smacks Goon #3 in the head with the nightstick.
GOON #3
What the fuck, man?!?!
DOUG
Carry on.
Doug slides back into the car, and the car drives off.
We pan back to Goons 2 and 3.
GOON #2
What the hell was that?
CUT TO: EXT. SHOT OF THE LIQUOR STORE.
DER (OS)
Hi. I'm Der, and I will be tasked with explaining what the hell happened in the 48 hours after that incident.
We cut back to Der, huddled in the gum section of the Liquor store, begins getting up.
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE ON SCREEN: DER.
DER (OS)
That's me. I'm Der. That's short for "Derek", by the way. Not like Truth or Dare. D-E-R.
CUT INTO: TITLE SEQUENCE.
We see pictures of all the characters, and the actors who play them, on green-screened pictures on a wall.
DER
DOUG
PETER
THOMAS
KINO
ALEX
8-BIT
BARRY
KERRY
JACK
SMASH OUT OF TITLE SEQUENCE.
CUT TO: SUBURBAN STREET- DAY.
A beat up minivan pulls up to the sidewalk. From the Driver's side, all three men inside walk out. PETER gets out of the driver's seat, and THOMAS and KINO get out from the sliding door. They all wear long black coats.
They walk towards the house.
FREEZE FRAME. TITLE ON SCREEN: CHECK.
DER (OS)
These are the Long Coats. Now, its the the middle of summer, and you may be asking, why the f*ck are these guys wearing those long coats?
Beat. The picture of the Long Coats don't move.
DER (OS)
Apart from that being their name, of course.
CUT TO: Close-up of Peter's Jacket.
Peter begins walking in Slow-motion.
DER (OS)
The reason is, under their jackets, they each hold 10 weapons, of which they can find 100 ways to kill you, if you let them.
We see some metallic equipment flash underneath Peter's jacket.
DER (OS)
Two handguns, a shotgun, an uzi, a hunting knife, a nylon wire, a cosh, a taser and, top it all off, two capsules of cyanide.
CUT TO: SUBURBAN STREET- DAY.
LONG SHOT: The Long Coats walk briskly towards the door, almost in fast-motion compared to the previous shots.
They ring the doorbell, and stand in a horizontal line, looking at the door.
THOMAS
What you suppose this is?
PETER
I don't know. We'll find out, won't we?
The door opens, but a screen door still separates them. KERRY is behind the door, a housewife that seems slightly agitated.
PETER
Hello, Ms. Lee-
Kerry raises a pistol with her right hand.
KERRY
All your weapons. On the floor, now.
Peter looks over at Thomas, who looks over at Kino, who looks back at Peter. He shrugs.
FAST MOTION SHOT: All the weapons come flying out. The guns, the knives, the cyanide pills.
END FAST MOTION SHOT. We are back on Kerry, who looks down at the assortment of death, a wee bit worried.
KERRY (slowly)
Jesus...
He looks back up at the Long Coats, and struggles to retain her composure. She's out of her league.
DER (OS)
What she's measuring now, is the chance of getting shot by these fellas, against the chances they'll have of bring her husband back alive.
Kerry slowly undoes the hammer and shoves the pistol back in her sweatpants.
KERRY
Well come in.
She opens the screen door.
DER (OS)
Well. Do you think she made the right decision? Only time will tell.
SMASH TO: INT. Garage of some kind.
We see Kino, half shrouded in darkness, blood on his forehead. We dolly back insanely fast, and see him as he raises his silenced gun and fires.
We whip-pan over to KERRY, who is still in her sweatpants, as she begins to double over in pain.
FREEZE FRAME.
DER (OS)
Well, sh*t. I just went and ruined the whole damn movie. But wait, Roger Ebert, there's more...
CUT TO: INT. LEE HOME.
Kerry leads the Long Coats to the couch, where they sit, each holding a coffee mug. Kerry takes a seat opposite them.
KERRY
I thank you for your cooperation. When dealing with mercenaries, you know, you can never be too careful. Seems you lot follow that advice too.
She laughs.
The Long Coats don't change expression.
KERRY (stops laughing)
Yes, well, let's get down to business, right? My husband, Alex Lee....
Kerry's voice gets drowned out by Der's.
DER (OS)
Oh sh*t, that's right! The guy before, Alex, in the parking lot, that's her husband. Nice guy, right?
KERRY
Well, anyways, he's gone missing.
We pan over to the Long Coats. They haven't changed expression. Kerry's dog jumps up and bites Kino on the hand.
KINO
Ow! Damn mutt.
KERRY
Margo, honey, over here.
The dog moves away.
KERRY
So, what do you think?
Peter puts his coffee down on the coffee table.
PETER
We'll do it. For our normal fees, of course.
KERRY
Yeh, they seemed, uh, expensive.
Kino puts his coffee down on the coffee table.
KINO
That's cause they are.
KERRY
Oh, right.
Thomas puts his coffee down on the coffee table.
THOMAS
What friends did... sorry, does Alex have? Anyone we can talk to?
Kerry puts her coffee down on the coffee table.
KERRY
There is this guy named, I think 16-bit...
PETER
8-Bit?
KERRY
Yeh, 8-Bit. Alex was friends with him.
PETER
Good.
The Long Coats stand up.
PETER
We'll be in touch, and we will get your husband back, Ms. Lee.
KERRY
Thank you very much.
They leave the house. Kerry looks back at the Coffee table, which collapses under the weight. She sighs.
CUT TO: DER'S FLAT- MORNING.
Der lays on his stomach, head buried in the pillow. The phone rings on his bedside table, and he opens his eyes. He leans over to the other side of the bed, and closes his eyes again.
DER
Was it good for-
He opens his eyes, seeing the bed is empty save for him.
DER
F*ck.
He turns back to his nightstand, and takes the phone.
DER
I'm Der, who the f*ck do you think you are?
BARRY (On Phone)
I'm Barry, that's who the f*ck it is.
Der sits up, visibly startled. It's Barry. Barry has a thick British or Australian accent.
DER
Barry. Um, yeah, this is Der...
BARRY (On Phone)
I decided I want you to pay up. Today. All of it.
Der's face turns to that of extreme fear.
DER
Um... There may be a bit of a problem with that...
BARRY (on Phone)
What? Are you bein' thick? I said, I want you to pay up. Today. All of it.
DER
Yeah, I heard that. So what? What if I can't get you the money?
Silence on the other line. Der grimaces.
BARRY (on phone)
see, I knew you would say that.
Der raises an eyebrow, still visibly holding his breath.
BARRY (on phone)
I have a job. You do it, I will clear your fine to Mr. Lee.
Der releases his breath, relieved. This is too good to be true.
DER
Thank you. I'm sure once the job is done...
BARRY (on phone)
Have I said what it is yet?
DER
...No.
BARRY (on phone)
Right. I need you to find Mr. Lee, kill all the people who are holding him, and bring him back to me.
Der's eyes widen.
DER
Wait, I'm not Dirty Harry here. I can't just go in guns blazing and- wait, what happened to Alex?
BARRY (on phone)
Doug Flanders and his boys grabbed him after a job the other day.
DER
Flanders? You want me to kill Flanders and his crew?
BARRY (on phone)
No, I want you to buy them ice cream and treat them to a nice f*cking puppet show, of COURSE I want you to f*cking kill them.
Der takes a deep breath.
DER
And what if I don't do it?
BARRY (on phone)
Well, then consider yourself considerably f*cking overdue for your debt, and the f*cking librarian is gonna come collecting.
Click. The line goes dead.
DER (OS)
So I have a choice between assassination and death.
We dolly in on Der.
DER (OS) DER
F*ck. F*ck.
CUT TO: INTERROGATION ROOM- DAY.
Alex sits in a chair, cleaning his nails with a napkin.
A figure walks in, obscured by the focus. He hits the napkin out of Alex's hand, and it goes onto the floor.
ALEX
Oy, what did you do that for?
The figure is revealed to be Doug.
DOUG
I didn't kidnap you so you could have your own DIY nail salon, did I?
Doug stands over Alex, his hands gripping the sides of the chair, their faces a few inches apart. Extremely intimidating for Alex.
DOUG
Do you know why you are here?
ALEX
Enlighten me?
Doug stands up, then SLAPS Alex in the face. Alex falls to the floor.
DOUG
Don't be an idiot! You did something to royally piss me off!
Doug grabs Alex by the collar on the floor.
DOUG
Now, what is it? I want to hear you say it.
He places his ear close to Alex's face.
DOUG
C'mon, I want to hear it!
ALEX
No.
DOUG
SAY IT!
Alex exhales, admitting defeat.
ALEX
I stole your effing lucky watch.
Doug smiles, annoyed.
DOUG
That's right.
Doug headbutts Alex with the side of his head. Alex falls back, bleeding from the nose.
ALEX
Augh! Jesus! Do you know how much that hurts?
DOUG
Yeah, I can feel it too. But that's the difference between you and me. You can't handle a little pain.
ALEX
Yes I can. And I will inflict some well deserved pain on your ass.
DOUG
Oh, you're feeling bold, aren't you!
Doug begins kicking Alex, who is still on the floor, in the face.
DOUG
Tell... me... where.... the.... watch... is...!
He steps back.
DOUG
You tell me and this will be all over. You can go back to your normal life.
Alex looks up at Doug, holding his nose. He doesn't even appear to weigh the options.
ALEX
F*ck.. you!
Doug shakes his head, and rolls up his sleeves
DOUG
Suit yourself.
He lunges out of frame.
CUT TO: BAR.
8-Bit, a snitch dressed in an expensive suit, sits at a bar. As he takes another sip of his juice, he looks up to see Thomas.
THOMAS
8-Bit. I need some information.
8-BIT
Really? I never would have guessed.
Thomas takes a seat next to him.
THOMAS
I need to know about Alex Lee.
8-BIT
Never heard of him. .
Peter steps out from behind Thomas. 8-bit immediately smiles.
8-BIT
Peter!
PETER
Hey, 8.
THOMAS
We need that info.
8-bit looks to the two of them.
8-BIT
New company?
PETER
Nah, Thomas is just the newbie.
THOMAS
Alex Lee.
8-BIT looks slightly annoyed. Finally, he sits back, and folds his arms.
8-BIT
What about him?
Thomas is taken aback for a sec.
THOMAS
Who is he?
8-BIT
He's just another wanna-be gangsta. Think's its cool to carry an uzi in his back pocket and shoot a bunch of thugs from a window of a moving Prius. Shoplifts, does a bit of drug dealing. Nothing too sinister.
PETER
Does he have any enemies?
8-BIT
Lots.
PETER
Any real enemies?
8-Bit thinks.
8-BIT
There is this one guy named Joey Hicox. Once shot Alex himself in the leg, after Alex tried to burst in on a drug deal in progress.
Peter looks over at Thomas. This sounds promising.
THOMAS
Could he have taken Alex?
8-BIT
Hicox had an epiphany, converted to Islam and moved to London.
Peter closes his eyes, annoyed.
PETER (frustrated)
Anybody else?
8-BIT
Well, there's also that guy Doug Flanders. He has his own gang of hooligans.
THOMAS
...And?
8-BIT
Well, there's only one way to get on his bad side.
THOMAS
Are you going to tell us?
8-BIT
No.
KINO steps out from behind Peter. 8-Bit smiles broadly.
8-BIT
Ki-ki!
Kino winces at his more-effeminent-than-he-would-like nickname.
KINO
Hey, Bits.
Thomas watches this, then turns back to 8-Bit.
THOMAS
What is the way to get on Flander's bad side?
8-bit grudgingly allows this bit of information to pass.
8-BIT
You steal his lucky thingy. A watch. Gold, or at least he says it's gold, pocketwatch. Says its from Gettysburg.
THOMAS
The battle?
8-BIT
No, the gift shop, of course from the Battle! Although, if you ask me, it has more of chance from the gift shop then from the actual f*cking battle.
PETER
Is it worth anything?
8-BIT
Maybe... 60.
THOMAS
Thousand?
8-BIT
...cents. It's worthless. But it means something to Flanders. He certainly likes his watch.
DER (OS)
That motherf*cking watch...
Thomas stands up and prepares to leave.
THOMAS
Where can we find Doug?
8-BIT
I don't know. It's not like I've ever met the guy.
Thomas turns and leaves. Peter tips his hat and then he and Kino follow him.
CUT TO: DER'S FLAT- MORNING.
Der is getting dressed in black pants, black sweatshirt, black gloves.
The phone rings.
DER (picking it up)
This is Der, who the f*ck is this?
8-BIT (on phone)
It's 8-Bit, thats who the f*ck it is.
Der smiles.
DER
Bits! Hows you're day going?
8-BIT (on phone)
Just terrific, Der. Listen. The people who are in charge of finding Alex, they're the Long Coats. They just left Eddie's Bar in a Honda Odyssey. Any chance you have of clearing your debt with Alex, goes through them. Convince them to give up the chase.
Der smirks.
DER
Thanks, bubby, I'll take that into consideration. Okay. Bye-bye.
Der puts the phone down gingerly, then turns, leans under the bed, and brings out a tupperware container.
DER (to himself)
Well, this is gonna be fun.
He takes a handgun out of the container, and checks the magazine. He loads the gun, and puts it into his sweatshirt pocket, and zips it up.
CUT TO: INT. DOUG's HOUSE- DAY.
Cary, Doug's brother, is watching TV when the doorbell rings.
She walks over to the door.
CARY
Who is it?
VOICE (OS)
Does Doug Flanders live here?
Cary is puzzled for a second, then:
CARY
Well, it depends.
The door is slammed open, and Cary is hit against the floor.
CARY
Ow...
The Long Coats burst into the doorway. Kino pulls out a shotgun, Peter a pistol, and Thomas an Uzi. They point it at Cary.
PETER
I'm gonna ask you again. Does Doug Flanders live here?
Cary looks at the guns, intimidated.
CARY
Yes, yes he lives here.
Peter lowers his gun.
PETER
And who are you?
CARY
I'm his brother.
Peter smirks.
PETER
Right. What time can we expect Mr... Flanders home?
CARY
Maybe around 6? I don't know, I'm not his keeper.
Thomas looks up at Peter.
THOMAS
So what do we do now?
Peter steps back.
PETER
Well, since we just have to wait, and it's half past 11 I'd say that's lunch.
CUT TO: INT. BUS- DAY.
JACK, glasses, shortish, sits, asleep, in a public bus. His phone rings, to the Star Wars theme, to the annoyance of those around him. He is startled awake, and grabs his phone.
JACK
This is Jack, who the f-
DER (on phone)
Jack, this is Der. Listen, I want you to find a silver Honda Odyssey that is in midtown right now. Go and find it.
JACK
Yeah, okay.
DER (on phone)
You... are sober enough to do that?
JACK
O'course, Doug- uh, Der.
DER (on phone)
K thanks, bai.
The bus stops, and Jack stands up. He walks to the front, and gets out of the bus. He walks a few feet to a BMW parked. He pulls out a knife, unlocks the door, gets in, and puts the knife into the ignition. The car starts, and he drives off.
CUT TO: MIDTOWN.
A Honda Odyssey is sitting in a McDonalds. We see inside, Peter is eating a burger.
INT. BMW.
JACK
Ah, there you guys are.
CUT TO: DER's CAR.
Der is driving, and he YAWNS.
CUT TO: INTERROGATION ROOM.
Doug sits, watching Alex, bloodied, trying to get up.
DOUG
Might as well give up now.
His phone rings.
DOUG (into phone)
Hello?
DER (on phone)
Doug Flanders. This is Der.
Doug's eyes widen. He opens his mouth to speak.
DER (on phone)
Now, before you say anything, listen to this. I know Alex stole your watch. I know you have kidnapped him. I even know who his wife sent to find you.
DOUG
How do you know this?
DER (on phone)
I have... connections. Listen, there is a leak in your organization, that is working with the people looking for Alex, the Long Coats. Tell me where you are, and I can come and, uh...
Der's confidence is waning.
DER (on phone)
Tell you. Who it is. For a price?
DOUG
No thanks. F*ck off.
He puts his phone away, and turns to his right-hand man, Jeremy.
DOUG
We have a snitch. The long coats are looking for him. Look for an Odyssey. Silver. Find them, and kill them. Must plug the leak.
JEREMY
Can I bring help?
DOUG
Of course. Just kill them.
Jeremy begins to walk out of the room.
DOUG
And Jeremy?
JEREMY
Yo.
DOUG
If they are conferring with anyone I know... Kill them too.
JEREMY
Of course.
Doug detects sarcasm in Jeremy's voice.
DOUG
What. I'm a f*cking mobster, ain't I?
CUT TO: EXT. McDONALDS.
INT. ODYSSEY.
They are all eating lunch in the car.
THOMAS
So, suppose we find where this guy is, do we just engage in some kind of firefight with these guys?
KINO
Yes.
THOMAS
That's our job description? Will kill for people?
PETER
Well, now, it's implied that we'll do that service. We can't advertise that.
THOMAS
Oh come on. We're basically bounty hunters, not "paid escorts".
PETER
No, we aren't. But there are just things that have to remain... uh... unsaid.
THOMAS
Let me get this straight. You advertise as bounty hunters, armed bounty hunters, but we can't say that we use said weapons.
KINO
Yes.
PETER
What? Disappointed?
THOMAS
It seems like a waste of advertisement if you don't tell the truth.
Kino looks up at Thomas, finally compelled to say something.
KINO
You see thousands of advertisements every day offering "natural male enhancement" and "rock solid abs in 60 seconds" and you expect truth in these things?
Thomas shrugs.
KINO
Jesus, Thomas. I didn't know you were so damn naive.
CUT TO: INT. JACK'S STOLEN CAR.
Jack sits in the stolen car attempting to drink a soda. He slurps, only to discover his straw is broken at the very tip.
JACK
Ah.
He looks over, and still sees the minivan.
He takes his cell phone out of his pocket. He dials.
JACK (into phone)
It's Jack, that's who the f*ck it is.
CUT TO: INT. LIQUOR STORE.
Der is in the liquor store, buying another pack of gum.
DER (into phone)
Look, Jack, all I want you to do is walk over to their car, and tell them that I may be interested in a deal. Us four, we could work together.
JACK (on phone)
Are you sure about this? Doug is not someone you want to piss off.
DER
I'm... kind of 72% sure.
CUT TO: INT. JACK'S STOLEN CAR.
JACK
Thats a C. Minus. Well, okay, fine, but this better not turn Lord of the Flies on me, because you know who's gonna get f*cked first.
CUT TO: INT. LIQUOR STORE.
Der is now walking towards the counter.
DER (into phone)
Well, Jack, we just play our sides right and hope that we are not the next ones to get f*cked, okay? And besides, if anyone is getting f*cked, it's Alex.
CUT TO: INT. JACK's STOLEN CAR
JACK (into phone)
What, like actually f*cked?
DER (on phone)
No, figuratively fucked. What the f*ck do you think I mean?
JACK
I mean, f*cked can mean many different things. It's a very versatile word. It's a verb, adjective, adverb...
CUT TO: EXT. LIQUOR STORE.
Der is now walking out.
DER (into phone)
How can f*ck be a f*cking adverb? What, like, the snow fell f*ckingly to the ground?
JACK (on phone)
No, like, he f*cking ran. That's like an adverb.
DER
That's an adjective.
JACK (on phone)
No, it's an adverb.
Der climbs into his car.
DER
Look, it doesn't matter. I'm gonna f*cking drive over there, and you are going to talk to the Long Coats. Tell them I'm coming. All right?
CUT TO: INT. JACK's STOLEN CAR.
JACK (into phone)
Yes, Der.
DER (on phone)
Good. Bye.
Jack puts his phone down.
JACK (quietly)
Adverb.
He then gets out of the car, makes sure its unlocked, then begins walking over to the Long Coat's car.
INT. LONG COAT's CAR.
Thomas is smothering his burger in ketchup.
KINO
Must you do that every time? I think I'm gonna puke.
THOMAS
It's ketchup.
JACK (OS)
Hello there!
Kino looks outside the rear view window and sees Jack coming. He places his hand on a pistol aimed at the driver's seat door.
Jack is at the window.
JACK
Hey. I'm Jack.
KINO
Who?
JACK
Never mind. Listen, I come here to offer a deal. I have a friend named Der, do you know him?
The group shakes their heads. Thomas takes a bite of his extra-ketchupy burger. Jack grimaces.
JACK
That's nasty.
KINO
Go on, Mr. Jack.
JACK
So he wants to offer a deal. He'll help you find Alex, if you let him bring Alex back to his house. That's it.
Kino looks back over at Thomas and Peter. He turns back, skeptical.
KINO
What could your friend know that we don't?
CUT TO: Across the street.
As Jeremy and two buddies, Kale and Jerry, are in a car, preparing to cross the street, they spot the Odyssey.
JERRY
Hey, look! The long coats!
Jeremy looks over, then pulls over to the sidewalk.
JEREMY
We got 'em. Good work.
They stare at the odyssey.
KALE
Who're they talking to?
Jeremy pulls out his binoculars.
JEREMY
Oh my god.
KALE
What?
JEREMY
It's Jack. We've got our snitch?
JERRY
Jack's the snitch?
JEREMY
He's gotta be. He worked for Doug just last year, right?
KALE
Yeah, delivering stacks of memos, what's the problem? What could he know?
JEREMY
Lots.
Jeremy leans to the left, under the seat, and pulls out compact machine guns. He hands them to Kale and Jerry. He keeps one for himself.
He slides in a clip, then loads it.
JEREMY
Kill them all.
CUT TO: Odyssey.
Jack is leaning against the car, holding his cell phone.
JACK (into phone)
They seem willing to do business, Der.
DER (on phone)
Good. I'll be there in a sec-
RATATATATATAT.
The bullets smack off the odyssey, as everyone ducks. We pan over to see Jeremy, Kale, and Jerry firing from the cover of their car, across the street.
JACK
Crap!
Kino gets out of the car, and opens the sliding door. Thomas and Peter jump out the opposite side of the car from the bullets. They run to the trunk, still shielded by the car, and open the door to the trunk. Inside is the BIGGEST ASSORTMENT OF GUNS in movie history. If you thought what The Long Coats carry on them was huge, think again.
They each grab a machine gun type gun, and begin shooting back.
We go back over to Jack.
JACK (into phone)
Yeah, someone's shooting at us.
DER (on phone)
Stay calm! You're covered by mercenaries, right? I'll be there in a sec.
Der disconnects, and Jack slides into the minivan's open door, where he feels safer. Suddenly, the window behind him shatters with the impact of a bullet. Jack falls back out onto the street, heavily scared.
JACK
Jesus!
He brushes some of the glass off of him.
CUT TO: Across the street.
Jerry is firing, but his clip is empty.
JERRY
Well sh-
He's struck by a bullet in the chest, and with a barely audible whimper he flies off of the frame. Jeremy and Kale continue shooting.
CUT TO: Odyessy.
Kino has mounted himself on the roof of the car and is taking select shots with a sniper rifle.
As we pan down, we see Jack making a run for it, before being grazed in the shoe by a bullet. He lands behind another car, unhurt but shaken.
CUT TO: MINIVAN.
The Long Coats continue to shoot at the car across the street.
CUT TO: INT. DER's CAR.
Der is driving towards the McDonald's, and sees the shooting. He stops the car a few yards away from Jeremy's car, and gets out.
Kale looks sideways at him.
KALE
What the f*ck are you doing here?
Suddenly, Kale is struck in the arm by a bullet, and collapses over. Jeremy looks and runs out of bullets.
JEREMY
Sh*t!
He turns and drops the gun, and runs like hell down a sidestreet.
DER
Hey! Come back here!
Der chases after Jeremy.
CUT TO: Minivan.
Peter sees this.
PETER
Stay here!
Peter runs after Der.
CUT TO: RESIDENTIAL STREET.
Jeremy runs along the fences, growing tired quickly.
Der sprints, following him, quickly gaining.
Peter runs after both of them, slowly drawing a pistol out of his jacket.
Jeremy looks behind him, and sees Der tackle him.
DER
Stay down!
Der punches Jeremy in the face.
DER
Jeremy. Where's Der keeping Alex?
Jeremy stays silent.
DER
Where?
Der slams Jeremy's head against the ground.
DER
Where, damnit!
Peter kicks Der to the side.
DER
Who are you?
PETER
I'm Peter.
DER
Oh, right, a Long Coat.
PETER
Who are you?
DER
I'm Der. I'm the friend of Jack's...?
PETER
Oh, right. What are you doing here?
DER
I need to find Alex.
PETER
Good.
Peter smacks Jeremy with his pistol.
PETER
WHERE IS HE?!
JEREMY (coughing)
Gunn... Gunn...
PETER
Yes, it's a gun, you nimrod. Where is he?
JEREMY (coughing)
Gunn High School.
PETER
What is that?
DER
I assume it's a high school.
Peter looks over at Der.
PETER
Was I talking to you?
DER
No.
PETER
Right. Gunn High School?
JEREMY
Yeh....
Jeremy gasps. Peter smacks him again, and Jeremy falls unconcious.
Peter stands up, and so does Der.
PETER
So who are you again?
Peter points the gun at Der, momentarily stunned.
DER
I'm on your side, buddy. We can help each other.
Peter's eyes narrow.
PETER
No thanks.
Peter stuffs the gun back in his jacket, and begins walking back towards the car.
DER
Oh, come on!
CUT TO: MCDONALDS PARKING LOT.
Peter walks back to the car.
PETER
Let's go.
The long coats get into the car, and drive off.
CUT TO: Residential Road.
Der is walking back to his car, and his phone rings.
DER (into phone)
This is Der, who the f*ck do you think you are?
8-BIT (on phone)
Oh, hey, Der, glad to hear you. How are things going?
DER
8-Bit? Eh, a little rough but overall OK so far.
8-BIT (on phone)
Good to hear.
CUT TO: GARAGE- DAY.
We see 8-Bit hanging upside down, the phone in his hand.
8-BIT
I'm sort of in a spot of bother...
BARRY stands up and SMACKS 8-BIT with a stick.
8-BIT
Ach!
Barry grabs the phone from 8-Bit.
BARRY (into phone)
Hello Der. Hows that job of yours coming?
DER (on phone)
Just peachy.
CUT BETWEEN DER AND BARRY.
DER
I've got an address, and I'm heading there now.
BARRY
Are you going to tell me?
DER
Ah, ah ah... No. The deal was, I was to find Alex, kill all of Doug's guys, and the debt is gone. If you come in and steal my thunder, how do I know you won't take back your deal because I didn't do it myself?
Silence.
BARRY
Just finish it.
CUT TO: BARRY's GARAGE.
He turns back to 8-Bit.
BARRY
Now, 8-Bit...
He begins to wrap his fist in a cloth.
BARRY
Who else did you tell of Alex's... predicament? You know, this could be very damaging if this information got to our customers.
8-BIT
Go f*ck yourself.
Barry brings his fist back-
CUT TO: INTERROGATION ROOM- DAY.
Alex is asleep in the chair, and Doug reaches out and slaps him in the face hard.
ALEX (waking up)
Oh, Jesus!
He sits up, and tugs at his arms, that are tied to the chair.
DOUG (OS)
You can't move.
Doug throws the chair to the ground.
DOUG
That better?
Alex lifts his head up from the floor.
ALEX
You can go f-
Doug kicks Alex in the head, then squats down next to him.
DOUG
I'm losing my patience! Where is the watch! This can all be over if you just tell me where you hid it. Hmmm? Under the doormat? Under the fake rock? Inside the water closet, what?
ALEX
Up your ass and around the corner.
DOUG
You could be mature about this.
Doug slaps Alex in the cheek.
DOUG
Come on. Out with it.
Alex spits at Doug's face.
Doug closes his eyes, wipes them off, then looks back at Alex.
ALEX
My people will find you, and kill you you miserable prick.
Doug laughs.
DOUG
You're people? You mean that cheeky Brit and that short dork? I really doubt they will be any help to you now. Now... where is the watch?
Doug gives up. He stands up, and leans towards the door.
DOUG
Come in.
CUT TO: Parking Lot.
Jack is sitting at the McDonalds, drinking a coke.
His phone rings, and he picks it up.
JACK (into phone)
Yeah?
DOUG (on phone)
Hi Jack.
JACK
Doug?
DOUG (on phone)
Jack. I'm offering you a deal. Kill the Long Coats, and you get to walk away clean. Alive. And with 50 thousand. They can be found here: 42 Anderson Road. Walk around the side of the house. Oh, and if you find a watch on them, bring it to me for another 10 grand.
JACK
What makes you think I want to kill 3 people, for money?
DOUG (on phone)
Jack. If you don't, I will kill you. It's that simple. I have people watching you right now. Are you enjoying the coke?
Jack looks up, immedietly paranoid. We pan back to the bullet- ridden Jeremy's car, where Kale is aiming his camcorder at Jack.
JACK
I don't know what you are doing-
DOUG (on phone)
I suggest you find them. And kill them.
Click. The phone is disconnected.
Jack stuffs it back in his jacket.
JACK
Crap.
He stands up, throws his coke into the trash can, and begins walking away.
CUT TO: Residential Road.
Jack walks along the road, until he comes across a bloody, unconcious Jeremy.
JACK
Jeremy...?
He leans down and slaps Jeremy on the face. Jeremy immediately opens his eyes and tries to get up. He falls back, defeated.
JEREMY
Uch.
JACK
Hey, Jeremy. It's Jack.
Jeremy looks over at Jack. Suddenly, he tries to lunge for him.
JEREMY
You're the snitch!
Jack is stunned.
JACK
What? No, I'm not. In fact, I'm working for Doug now. Did you give any info to the Long Coats?
Jeremy gulps.
JACK
C'mon, Jeremy, and I might even help you up.
JEREMY
I gave them the location of my old high school.
JACK
Now why the hell would you do that. Of all the stupid things to do. You know, they're gonna find out you were bullsh*tting them, and they are gonna come back and kill you.
Silence.
JACK
What's your old high school?
JEREMY
Gunn.
JACK
What about a gun?
JEREMY
No, Gunn. G-U-N-N. Gunn. It's the name of a high school.
JACK
Really. They would name it after a firearm.
Jeremy gets up, angered.
JEREMY
It's named after a person, you-
Jeremy falls back down, hand to his head, grimacing.
JACK
You stay here, I'll take care of everything.
Jack stands back up, then as he takes a few steps, looks back.
JACK
You don't happen to have a car, do you?
CUT TO: INTERROGATION ROOM- DAY.
Doug sits in a chair, Alex still on the ground.
DOUG
I'm getting tired of this, you know.
ALEX
I'm never giving up. Never surrender.
Doug scoffs.
DOUG
Everyone has a breaking point.
His phone rings. He picks it up.
DOUG
Hello.
JEREMY (on phone)
I know where they will be in 5 minutes.
DOUG
Jeremy?
JEREMY (on phone)
I gave them directions to the high school.
DOUG
Why did you do that? Of all the stupid things to do.
JEREMY (on phone)
Never mind. What are we doing about Alex's men?
DOUG
Don't worry. That's all taken care of.
CUT TO: 25 ANDERSON ROAD- DAY.
It's another residential home. Jack steps out of the completely bullet-ridden car and towards the house. Remembering Doug's advice, he goes to the side of the house and opens the gate. He finds a white door leading into the garage, and takes a deep breath.
He pulls a revolver out of his pants and exhales.
He takes a step back, and kicks open the door, jumping inside, gun out in front of him.
CUT TO: INT. GARAGE- DAY.
8-Bit is on the floor, bleeding. Barry and Gary, Alex's other one of the "people", sit drinking. They look up at Jack.
Jack looks at both of them, then at 8-Bit.
JACK
What the hell are you guys doing here?
BARRY
What the hell are you doing here?
8-Bit takes advantage of this momentary distraction, grabbing a gun he had in his jacket, and shoots Gary. Barry stands up, and shoots 8-Bit. 8-Bit, almost by instinct, shoots Barry back. Everyone is dead, except for Jack. Jack looks around, completely confused.
JACK
What the f-
He looks down and sees Gary's dead body. Slipping out of his pocket, is a golden chain.
JACK
What-
Jack runs over and grabs the chain. Out comes... A golden watch.
CUT TO: EXT. GARAGE.
Jack runs quickly out of the house and back to his car, and sees the tires have been slashed.
JACK
Damnit!
He looks around, throws his used pistol onto the roof, and begins walking back down the road. He looks at the watch on his hand, and grimaces.
CUT TO: HIGH SCHOOL- DAY.
Doug and 4 of his men drive up in a car. Doug goes to the trunk as everyone gets out, grabs Alex and brings him to the front of the car.
DOUG
We're gonna wait here.
They sit down, and Doug holds Alex at gunpoint.
CUT TO: CLASSROOM- DAY.
Doug's 4 men, THUG 1, THUG 2, and THUG 3, and SNIPER, all enter the classroom.
SNIPER
I'm gonna find someplace else.
Sniper walks out of the room. The rest of the team sets up shop.
They open a suitcase, and grab guns.
CUT TO: ROAD.
The Long Coat's minivan approaches the school, going into the parking lot. We pan to see Doug and Alex, ducking.
CUT TO: Side- Street.
Der brings his car to a parking spot, gets out, and runs through a bike-pass onto the school campus. He runs to the parking lot, and sees the Long Coats getting out.
DER
Hey!
FREEZE FRAME.
DER (VO)
So, here's where it gets confusing.
EXT. FREEZE FRAME.
Der runs over to where the Long Coats were, only to find them entering the school.
CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL.
Doug is sitting in the car with Alex.
ALEX
What exactly are we doing here?
DOUG
We're getting rid of them. Once and for all.
CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL.
SLOW-MOTION: Long Coats run in, walking side by side, guns in hand, long coats flapping in the wind.
CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL.
Der runs around the school, eventually getting around a building.
CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL.
The Long Coats are walking down the hallway, when-
BLAM!
FREEZE FRAME- The Long Coats react- Peter is whipping up his gun, Kino is jumping to the side. Thomas is falling back- a red splotch on his shoulder.
DER (OS)
And here... is where all hell broke loose.
CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL.
Der hears gunfire. He looks around, confused.
DER
What the hell is going on?
CUT TO: INT. DOUG's CAR.
Doug hears the gunfire, and grabs a shotgun from the back seat and puts it against his side car door.
DOUG
I'm gonna blast your brains over the wall.
ALEX
Good luck. They are going to shred you apart.
Doug grinds his gun up against Alex's temple.
DOUG
Did I ask anything?
ALEX
No.
DOUG
Good. Hostages should be seen and not heard.
His finger is close to pulling the trigger- Suddenly, he puts the gun down.
DOUG
Before I kill you, where the hell is my watch?
CUT TO: BUS STOP- AFTERNOON.
Jack sits at the bus stop, twirling the watch in his hands. The bus arrives, and Jack steps on.
The bus leaves town.
CUT TO: INT. SCHOOL.
Thomas has been dragged behind a barrier by Peter.
Kino, on the other side, is shooting down the hallway at the Three Thugs.
CUT TO: SNIPER's HIDEOUT.
The sniper's hideout is simply the roof, and he shoots around, hitting the grey pillars around Kino.
KINO
Jesus!
Kino moves out, and sprays bullets at the sniper hideout.
The sniper is hit in the chest, and he falls back.
SNIPER
Augh! I'm a sniper! I'm not supposed to get shot!
CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL.
Der runs outside, and sees Doug and Alex in the car.
He pulls out a pistol from his pants, and runs forward.
DER (OS)
When you place yourself in danger, there's only one thought in your mind.
DER
Sh*t!
He runs over to the car, opens Alex's side door.
DER
Get out, get out!!!
DOUG
What the f*ck are you doing here?!?!
DER
Get out, Doug!
Doug and Alex both climb out, Doug still holding Alex at gunpoint.
DER
Put the gun down, Doug.
Beat.
DOUG
F*ck you!
Doug suddenly uses his other hand to whip out the shotgun, and point it at Der. Alex grabs the shotgun, elbows Doug in the stomach, and falls to the ground.
DOUG
Ach!
Alex fires the shotgun, hitting Doug in the ankle and completely blowing off his foot.
DOUG
Aaaaugh!
Doug collapses, his hands going to his bloody stump of a foot, screaming bloody murder.
Der watches this, momentarily paralyzed by the uber-violence.
Alex stands up, blood having splashed on his shirt.
ALEX
Let's go.
DOUG
AUUUUUGH!!!! F*CK!!!
Doug continues screaming.
ALEX
Shut up, Doug, all I did was blow off your foot!
Doug continues screaming at the mention of his injury.
ALEX
F*ck it, Doug.
Alex leans down, grabs Doug's decapitated foot, and smacks Doug's head off-screen. We pan in on Der.
WHACK!
Der reacts with disgust.
WHACK!
Der grimaces, his gun still held in front of him.
WHACK!
Der turns away, almost vomiting.
Alex stands up, completely bloodied.
DER
That was the most disgusting thing I think I've ever seen.
ALEX
Okay, now answer me. What the hell are you doing here?
DER
I'm (supressing vomit) rescuing you! Barry said if I did, there would be no more debt.
ALEX
That's just great.
Alex grabs the shotgun.
ALEX
Now help me kill the Long Coats, then your debt will be paid.
DER
Why do you want to kill them? They were hired by your wife!
Alex frowns.
ALEX
I know.
CUT TO: FLASHBACK- INTERROGATION ROOM.
We've seen this scene before.
DOUG
Come on. Out with it.
Alex spits at Doug's face.
Doug closes his eyes, wipes them off, then looks back at Alex.
ALEX
My people will find you, and kill you you miserable prick.
Doug laughs.
DOUG
You're people? You mean that cheeky Brit and that short dork? I really doubt they will be any help to you now. Now... where is the watch?
Doug gives up. He stands up, and leans towards the door.
DOUG
Come in.
KERRY walks in. Alex's eyes widen.
ALEX
Kerry! What are you doing here?!?!
KERRY
You better know, you cheating prick.
She kicks him over.
KERRY
Maybe next time you should hide it a little better. But there won't be a next time.
She punches him.
KERRY
Because I'm gonna kill you.
DOUG
Not yet. We have to find the watch.
KERRY
Who cares about your f*cking watch?
DOUG
I care!
KERRY (turning back to Alex)
Your time will come.
FREEZE FRAME.
DER (OS)
So, want to know what should have happened?
WE REWIND THE SCENES BACK TO:
INT. SCHOOL.
The Long Coats are walking through the school.
RATATATAT!
A machine gun fires, and the Long Coats collapse, dead.
CUT TO: INT. DOUG's CAR.
Doug turns to Alex and shoots him in the head, blood splattering against the window.
CUT TO: GRASS.
Alex's body is dumped a few feet away from the Long Coat's bodies, and a machine gun is placed in his hands.
We pan across the field. Alex was obviously gunned down by the Long Coats, who he managed to shoot before he died.
Case closed.
WE FAST FORWARD TO:
EXT. SCHOOL.
Der stands in front of Alex, guns held in front of them.
Der shrugs.
DER
I'm so confused.
ALEX
It's really not that difficult! C'mon, lets go!
INT. SCHOOL.
The Long Coats are shooting back at the thugs.
CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL.
Alex runs around the back, shotgun in hands. Der reluctantly follows him.
CUT TO: Entrance to school.
Alex and Der enter.
We see nothing. Silence.
Alex and Der burst out running.
ALEX
F*ck it!
Alex runs one direction, Der the other. The Long Coats, including the injured Thomas, shoot after Alex.
Alex goes back to Doug's car, slides in, and turns the keys, which are still in the slot. He drives off.
CUT TO: Side Street.
Der runs, blood on his forehead, to his car.
He climbs into his car, and tries to start.
It stalls.
DER
Damn, damn, damn!
It stalls some more.
DER (OS)
At this point I think I started praying.
We see Peter and Thomas running through the side street, shooting.
DER (OS)
It didn't help.
Der gets out of the car, and begins running away.
CUT TO: Street- Early evening.
Alex is driving home in Doug's car. He looks at himself in the rear view mirror, and wipes some blood off of his forehead. He grimaces then wipes it on the dashboard.
CUT TO: EXT. SCHOOL- Early Evening.
Peter, Kino, and an injured Thomas, who is sitting on a bench, reconvene.
THOMAS
What happened, man?
KINO
What happened? What happened is, we got f*cked.
Peter looks at Kino.
PETER
Someone set us up, didn't they?
Kino looks over.
KINO
Oh, good to see you're keeping up with the situation.
PETER
Go die. What do we do now?
Thomas moves a bit.
THOMAS
Who is left alive?
CUT TO: EXT. ALEX's HOUSE- NIGHT.
Alex gets out of the car, and goes to the front door.
He leans on the door, and cocks the shotgun. Then, he opens the door with his key and jumps in, shotgun in front of him.
ALEX
Kerry! Get out here-
Alex is smacked in the back of the head by a plank of wood, and he collapses. Behind him is Kerry.
Kerry drops the plank, and grabs Alex's legs, and drags him into the garage.
CUT TO: INT. GARAGE- NIGHT.
Alex is dragged into the garage, which has a patch of plastic. She is wearing latex gloves.
She leans over, grabs the shotgun, and wraps Alex's unconcious hands around it, the barrel pointed up at his chin.
She is about to pull the trigger....
We hear a car screech. She looks up.
CUT TO: EXT. GARAGE- NIGHT.
Kino runs out of the minivan, towards the garage, then leans down and pulls the garage door up.
He pulls out a gun and aims it at Kerry.
KERRY
Damnit! Why couldn't you die when you were supposed to?
She stands up, and pulls out the shotgun from Alex's hands.
We watch Kino.
SLOW- MOTION.
Even in slow-motion, we dolly out from Kino extremely fast, and his gun fires in slow-motion.
We whip-pan over to Kerry, as she begins to double over.
DER (OS)
You've seen this scene. There you go. Closure.
Kerry falls in slow motion next to Alex.
SMASH TO BLACK.
CUT TO: Der's Apartment- Night.
He runs in, bloodied, into the bedroom, and flops on the bed.
He takes a deep breath, thinking about the day.
DER
Sh*t.
He looks over at the door, and sees a little envelope under it.
He slumps over and picks it up.
It has written on it, "DER: BECAUSE I DON'T WANT IT."
He opens the envelope onto his hand, and the watch falls out.
His eyes widen. He looks at the watch, then onto the back. It has engraved, "GETTYSBURG MUSEUM".
He smirks.
FADE OUT QUICKLY.
FADE INTO: EXT. SUBURBAN HOUSE- MORNING.
The next day. The sky is blue, the birds are chirping, its a beautiful morning.
CUT TO: THWACK!
A knife is stuck between the two legs of Alex, who sits in a wooden chair. Above him stands Kino.
KINO
Now, Alex, we don't ever want to see you again.
Peter and Thomas, bandaged up, are standing behind Kino.
THOMAS
Ever.
Kino smiles.
KINO
So, you can just stay here. We hear anything from you, and maybe next time I won't cut so far away.
He motions to the knife.
KINO
G'bye now Alex.
Kino, Peter, and Thomas all walk back away from Alex's house.
THOMAS
Think It'll work on him?
Kino smirks.
KINO
Nah.
SMASH TO BLACK.
THE END. |
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