MONTAGE
A) On the cover of the DAILY GALAXY, cover dated June 30, 1989, is a picture of SUPERDUDE, a tall man wearing a blue cape and boxers over an all red suit emblazened with an "SD" logo on the front. He carries a train car right over his head, under the headline "SUPERDUDE FIGHTS TERROR IN THE GREATER TRI-CITY AREA."
DIRECTOR (V.O.)
Superheroes. For years they've been our role models, our celebrities, our saviors.
B) A People Magazine, cover dated July, 1989, has a picture of Superdude alongside a picture of DARKWING, wearing a blue helmet with pointed ears, a domino mask, and a white jumpsuit under a pair of black underwear that is far too tight, all topped by a blue cape. The page reads "SUPERDUDE'S INFLUENCE FELT THROUGHOUT THE WORLD. COPYCATS APPEAR IN CITIES ALL OVER."
DIRECTOR (V.O.)
We loved them, we hated them. We watched them grow. We helped them develop.
C) A polaroid time-stamped "10/10/89" shows a small, happy group standing in front of a banner that reads "WELCOME CITIZENS UNITED NEGATING TERROR!" Superdude stands in the middle, with Darkwing to his left. Next to Darkwing stands SWALLOW, wearing a similar but brown and white uniform with no helmet. On Superdude's right side is ROBO-MAN, a smaller, shorter guy with a metallic right arm and left hand, along with a red cybernetic-eye. At the edge of the group is CAPTAIN ADMIRAL, a buff guy in full camouflage body armor, sporting a machine gun on his back. Standing in the back behind Robo-Man and Captain Admiral is PROFESSOR GENIUS, a skinny bald guy wearing a labcoat and thick glasses.
DIRECTOR (V.O.)
The Hero Society of Earth fought crime for a decade, but after outside pressure and numerous inner conflicts lead to their disbanding, the various people went their seperate ways. Now, ten years later, the once glamourous figures have spent more time retired than they have fighting for justice. After some digging, we were able to find the man many say was responsible for the whole phenomenon.
INT. SUPERDUDE'S CUBICLE - DAY
A cubicle farm stretches as far as the eye can see. A small cubicle in the middle of the floor is occupied by Superdude, gaining a little weight and wearing a thick framed pair of glasses in addition to his flamboyant spandex suit. He sits in front of a computer, his three and a half walls covered in newspaper articles and pictures of his former glory.
Superimpose:
Superdude
Reporter, Daily Galaxy/Founding HSE member (1989-99).
SUPERDUDE
I don't mean to brag, but the whole thing was sort of my idea. I mean, I'm the one who came up with the concept of superheroes. I was the first guy to dress up in tights and jump around like that. Of course, it was only about a month later people started stealing my idea.
INT. DARKWING'S OFFICE - DAY
A brightly lit corner office is filled with trophies and medals, many of which bear the image of the man sitting at the desk, Darkwing.
Superimpose:
Darkwing
C.E.O. Galaxy Enterprises/Founding HSE member/Chief publicity and monetary agent (1989-99).
DARKWING
He said he was the first one? Gay bars have had guys dressing up like this for years. That's where I got the idea. The acrobatics were simply an extension of how great I was on the dance floor. That little bastard has always been jealous of me. Always angry that I was the successful one. Forget Superdude, he's a nobody. If anyone was ripped off it was me. I'm not gonna name names, but I think we all know who I'm talking about.
INT. DART'S OFFICE - DAY
Hanging on the back wall of a somewhat more modest workspace is a flag, a coat of arms, and several framed documents. At a desk sits DART, wearing a green helmet with a single point, a green cape, and a black jumpsuit under some tighty-whities.
Superimpose:
Gov. Dart (D-CA)
Governor of California (2000-Present)/Former HSE member (1992-99).
DART
First of all, I did not rip off Darkwing. He just always held it against me that when I showed up I stole his thunder. The way I used my money to fight crime was way different from the way he used his money to fight crime. My Dart-Tree was completely different from his Dark-Tree.
DIRECTOR
And the Dart-Car? Dart-Plane? Dart-Signal?
Dart stares awkwardly at the camera, dumbstruck.
INT. SWALLOW'S CAR - DAY
Swallow drives around as he talks to the camera.
Superimpose:
Swallow
Food service delivery technician/Founding HFE member (1989-1999).
SWALLOW
Yeah, I was a little late to the naming game. I didn't start up until a few months in, and by then everyone and their mother had a superhero name, so unless I wanted to do some cheesy thing with numbers at the end, this is what I had. I was Darkwing's sidekick, so I figured it made sense to have a bird's name. Only later did I realize my mistake. By then the name stuck. It was Darkwing and Swallow. Darkwing was always great though. Him and Dart had some issues, but everyone had issues with Dart.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
Sitting on the other side of a glass barrier in an orange jumpsuit is Robo-Man, with an armed guard standing in the background.
Superimpose:
Robo-Man
Convict (1998-Present)/Supervillain (1992-1998)/Founding HSE member (1989-1992)
ROBO-MAN
Do I hold anything against Dart? Maybe. It was never really him I was mad at, even if I did take some of it out on him. He was a scab, but I suppose he was looking for work just as much as me. It was the rest of the guys who hired him. I mean, I came up with the name, "Citizens United Negating Terror." That was all me, but the special interest groups had a field day. They changed the name and used me as a scapegoat. I figured they'd hire me back eventually, but then a few months later Dart showed up and... I knew that was it. I was living with it, you know, getting back to my normal life, but when they started expanding, hiring some no-name heroes, that's when I snapped. How the hell did Ultra-Girl get into the group? I'll tell you how. A combination of liberal femocrat employment policies and the fact she was banging Superdude. Equal opportunities indeed.
EXT. MOVIE SET - DAY
On a cheap set with an unprofessional looking crew is ULTRA-GIRL, a full figured blonde in an unnessicarily tight black leather one-piece.
Superimpose:
Ultra-Girl
Actress/Former HSE member (1992-1999)
ULTRA-GIRL
Superdude and I... were complicated. He never seemed really into our relationship. Believe me, that was not something that helped me get the job. Robo-Man is just out to get me. He's always hated me. It wasn't just him either. Dart was always saying I was unqualified for the job, that I was only hired for my looks. Sometimes I wonder if maybe they were right, if I'm not good at this, but then I think, how do you know when you're good at your job? When people like you. Do people like me? Well let's put it this way, Ultra-Girl IV: The Journey for Freedom made $300 million. So what does that tell you? Dart and Robo-Man? They're just jealous. This isn't just me talking. Everyone hates Robo-Man.
INT. LAB - DAY
In a lab filled with all sorts of complicated machinery stands Professor Genius.
Superimpose:
Professor Genius, PhD.
Head of Quantum Biology, MIT/Founding HSE member (1989-1999)
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Robo-Man? He's alright, I guess. I've never had too much against him. Even if he was the villain, I guess I empathized with him. We were both idea men. He was a smart guy, I was just way smarter. I worked behind the scenes. The whole HSE was my idea. I mean, he came up with the original name, but somehow managed to screw that up. That's why he wasn't needed in the group. No need for two brains, especially when one wasn't working at full capacity.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
Robo-Man looks shocked.
ROBO-MAN
He said what? Arrogant nerdy bastard. At least I didn't need to pretend I had powers. Idiot went around acting like he was psychic, until back in '98 when he screwed up their pizza order. He was revealed as the fraud he was. They might not have kicked him out, but I'm sure something like that only helped speed their break up.
INT. LAB - DAY
Professor Genius looks angered.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Listen, I might not have been psychic, but I was smart enough to fool them for nine years. All those ideas and plans were mine, and I figure someone like that deserved a spot in the lineup anyway. Apparently everyone agreed with me too, since they kicked out Robo-Man and kept me.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
Robo-Man sits on the other side of the glass.
ROBO-MAN
You know what? Even if I wasn't in the group, I was on every damn lunchbox.
INT. LAB - DAY
Professor Genius looks taken aback.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
I'm shocked. I didn't know he felt like that.
DIRECTOR (O.S.)
Really?
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Well how should I? I'm not psy...
INT. DARKWING'S OFFICE - DAY
Darkwing sits at his desk, calmly.
DARKWING
Why didn't I put him on the lunchbox? Easy. He's ugly. I know a good looking guy when I see one, and Professor Genius isn't exactly a model. I mean, we didn't need him scaring the kids from buying our stuff. We needed that money to keep operating. It's not like I kept him off every piece of merchandise. He had his own toys based off the cartoon. They didn't sell too well, but we managed to make them profitable. We repurposed some old Barbie dolls. Just put on a new head, paint the dress to look like a lab coat, you got yourself Professor Genius.
INT. LAB - DAY
Professor Genius is looking pretty angry.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Why the hell does he think the toys didn't sell well? Aside from the fact I was never promoted on any of the other merchandise, they made me look like a transvestite, which I suppose he'd be into. Look, I'm not Captain Admiral, I don't have anything against Darkwing for that specific trait, I just always felt that when him and Swallow came out, that was when we started to fall apart.
INT. DARKWING'S OFFICE - DAY
Darkwing is looking pretty serious and a little remorseful.
DARKWING
Ooh. Yeah, that was rough. I gotta say I wasn't expecting such a backlash. I mean, Captain Admiral, yeah, but I didn't think Superdude would react like he did. We never had the same friendship after that. I always thought the Professor was fine with it. I know Dart was. We had our differences, or should I say similarities, but he was always cool with me and Swallow, and I really respected him for it.
INT. SWALLOW'S CAR - DAY
Swallow drives around while talking to the camera.
SWALLOW
He thought Superdude started acting weird? I never got that.
EXT. SWALLOW'S CAR - DAY
Swallow stops the car and gets out, taking a pizza with him, and walks toward a house before ringing the doorbell.
SWALLOW
I always thought Superdude was a great guy, really nice.
The door opens and Swallow hands the pizza to the guy inside.
SWALLOW
That'll be $11.38.
The guy hands him the cash and shuts the door. Swallow starts walking back to the car.
SWALLOW
Captain Admiral obviously wasn't too happy with us, but I don't think Ultra-Girl really cared, and Dart was always cool. Him and Darkwing never got along too well, but I always thought he was alright.
INT. DART'S OFFICE - DAY
Dart sits at his desk.
DART
No, why would I have any problem with Darkwing and Swallow? They were great crimefighters. Whatever their personal lives involved was none of my business. In fact, I gotta say I felt a little sad for them when they broke up. They made a nice couple. No, no way that was the point we started to fall apart. If I had to pin-point it I say it started way earlier, back when Darkwing hired Ultra-Girl. Now that was one of the things we fought about. "We need to expand our female fanbase" he says, "and it wouldn't hurt us with males aged 18-39 either." Not that I objected to having a woman on the team, there were plenty of amateur superheroines out there doing fantastic jobs, but Ultra-Girl just wasn't qualified. You could tell he picked her just for her looks, and I suppose that might be one of the reasons his later revelation was so shocking.
INT. SUPERDUDE'S CUBICLE - DAY
Superdude sits, remembering fondly.
SUPERDUDE
Ultra-Girl was a great friend and an essential member of the team. I know some of the guys had problems with her, Dart was always pretty public about it, not to mention Robo-Man, but Captain Admiral liked having her around, and Darkwing was the one who hired her. Swallow always seemed pretty indifferent, for reasons that are now obvious. Professor Genius never showed it, but I always got a vibe that he was a little jealous. Did he talk to you about the dolls? He always felt like he was getting pushed into the background while the girl who shows up halfway through the game gets all the exposure. Maybe not though. He was always hard to read, just in the background, working on his experiments and finding clues. Out of all the gang he's really the only one I didn't know too well. All the rest I guess I could call... my friends. You know, I'm actually pretty excited to see them at the reunion next week.
INT. DARKWING'S OFFICE - DAY
Darkwing sits at his desk.
DARKWING
The reunion? Oh yeah, I'll be there.
INT. DART'S OFFICE - DAY
Dart sits at his desk.
DART
The reunion's gonna be fantastic. It'll be a ton of fun to catch up with all my old aquaintances.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
Robo-Man sits on the other side of the glass.
ROBO-MAN
Actually, I've already got permission for day parole from Governor Dart. I can't wait to see him and clear the air, not to mention meeting up with everyone else.
EXT. MOVIE SET - DAY
Ultra-Girl stands on the cheap set.
ULTRA-GIRL
No way I'd miss the reunion. I mean, I had to convince the producer to postpone the premiere to my new movie, Ultra-Girl: Rise of the Golden Skater, but it'll be worth it.
INT. SWALLOW'S CAR - DAY
Swallow drives to his next delivery.
SWALLOW
Seeing everyone again. Darkwing, Superdude... No way I'd miss it.
INT. LAB - DAY
Professor Genius looks stunned.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Reunion?
INT. SUPERDUDE'S CUBICLE - DAY
Superdude looks excited, in a celebratory mood.
SUPERDUDE
You know, at first I was a little worried about doing this movie, I wasn't sure if I was ready to revisit my old life, but you made me go back, and only now I realize just how much I miss everyone. You know what, I think it's time for a little celebrating.
Superdude opens a drawer in his desk and pulls out a bottle of liquor and a shot glass. He pours a glass and hands it to the director.
SUPERDUDE
Drink up, it's on me.
A hand reaches out from behind the camera and takes the drink, as Superdude drinks straight from the bottle.
INT. SUPERDUDE'S CUBICLE - DAY
Superdude is visibly drunk and slurring his speech.
Superimpose:
Thirty minutes later.
SUPERDUDE
He sits there, all high and mighty in his office, Mr. "Your writing looks like you don't have a fourth grade education!" I'll show him a fourth grade education!
Superdude gets up and heads toward Darkwing's office.
INT. DARKWING'S OFFICE - DAY
Darkwing looks sad as he sits at his desk.
DARKWING
That was difficult. I didn't want to have to let Superdude go. I mean, we go way back, but I can't have an employee treat me like that. I just can't. It sets a bad precedent. Am I sorry? Yes, but it needed to be done.
EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY
Superdude stands outside carrying a box full of the personal effects that used to fill his cubicle.
SUPERDUDE
He is gonna regret this. Mark my words. Just wait until the reunion. I'll show him. I'll show everybody.
INT. SWALLOW'S CAR - DAY
Swallow drives around looking very surprised.
SWALLOW
Revenge? He wants to get back at Darkwing? I wonder if he's already planned anything...
EXT. MOVIE SET - DAY
Ultra-Girl looks sad as she talks about her old friend.
ULTRA-GIRL
Poor Superdude. Right before the reunion too. This is gonna be weird. I feel really bad for him though. I mean, I can only imagine how badly he regrets it now.
INT. DART'S OFFICE - DAY
Dart's face is filled with sheer disappointment.
DART
This is a shame. Superdude used to be such a great service to our community. See, this is why if re-elected I will increase funding to drug and alcohol rehabilitation programs. We can't let this disease hurt more upstanding citizens.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
Even Robo-Man looks shocked to hear the news of Superdude.
ROBO-MAN
Wow. I can't believe Superdude would do that. I guess it's been a few years since I was close to him, but we used to be pretty good friends. It's a real shame. I wonder if I should bring it up at the reunion...
INT. LAB - DAY
Professor Genius looks just as shocked as everyone else.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Wait... You're saying even Robo-Man was invited?!
INT. DART'S OFFICE - DAY
Dart sits at his desk.
DART
Robo-Man? I've got nothing against him. We fought him all the time, but behind every great hero is a great villain. He's like one of the gang. That's why I granted him day parole for the reunion. It's gonna be great to talk to him and really get to know the man behind the villain.
INT. DARKWING'S OFFICE - DAY
Darkwing sits at his desk.
DARKWING
Robo-Man was definitely one of the most important members of the team. When he became a villain is when we went through the roof. We had a real marketable character for the audience to hate. They loved to hate him. His history with us made for huge ratings when we did his origin in the show. The fact is, even after he became a bad guy, he was always one of us. When we finally caught him... that was the beginning of the end.
EXT. MOVIE SET - DAY
Ultra-Girl stands around on the set.
ULTRA-GIRL
He was always a jerk, but you know, when it came down to it, I can't really imagine the HSE without him. He was always there. I think I got to know him pretty well. I never really thought about it much before, but I guess he was part of the gang. That's why he was on the lunchbox.
INT. SWALLOW'S CAR - DAY
Swallow drives around as he talks to the camera.
SWALLOW
Robo-Man was there since the beginning, and I never found him to be a bad guy. I mean, that's what he was, the bad guy, but I don't think being the bad guy means you're a bad guy.
INT. PRISON VISITING ROOM - DAY
Robo-Man sits on the other side of the glass.
ROBO-MAN
They all said that about me? I'm touched. I really am. I feel the same way about all of them. Looking back, I guess if I really think about it maybe the reason I fought them week after week might've been just to be with them. These guys were my friends. Even the ones who came after me, Dart and Ultra-Girl. I got to know them over the years, and all those fights, even though I always lost, were worth it to hang out with my best friends. On the cartoon they always portrayed me as the tragic villain, but I don't think it was really like that. I like being bad. It makes me happy. Now, excuse me, I hope this isn't rude, but I have to go, get ready for the reunion. I can't wait. See you there later.
INT. REUNION HALL - NIGHT
In a hall similar to the one in their original polaroid, Darkwing, Dart, and Ultra-Girl stand in front of a banner that reads "Welcome Hero Society of Earth." Robo-Man walks in and is met enthusiastically by the other three.
DART, ULTRA-GIRL, DARKWING
Robo-Man!
ROBO-MAN
Hey! How's it going? It's great to see you guys again!
DARKWING
The feeling's mutual.
ROBO-MAN
Look, I've said some bad things about you guys, and this guy's probably shown you the tapes, but I hope you've seen the other ones with all the good stuff I said about you.
ULTRA-GIRL
You don't need to worry about it. The past is behind us, let's just have a good time tonight.
ROBO-MAN
I need to thank you first, especially you, Dart. You were always sort of the blunt of my wrath, but letting me come here was really cool.
DART
It wasn't a problem. I hear you're a model prisoner, and I've got nothing against you personally. I just wanted to make the reunion complete. Seeing you guys again, I'm sorry about all the bad stuff between us. I mean, hiring you wasn't the worst thing in the world, and I suppose you caught on eventually.
ULTRA-GIRL
Is that supposed to be a compliment?
DART
I'm sorry, just...
ULTRA-GIRL
No, I'm kidding! It's fine. I know I was pretty amateur starting out. I have to thank you Darkwing, for giving me a chance. I have to be honest that at first I thought the same as everyone else and thought you were just trying to get in my pants.
DARKWING
Ha! No... I think we all know by now that that wasn't the case.
ULTRA-GIRL
I guess not. Say, whatever happened to Swallow?
DARKWING
To tell you the truth, I don't know. We had a falling out not too long after the gang fell apart. We lost touch and I haven't talked to him in years. I guess seeing him again was one of the things I was looking forward to tonight.
The doors open and Superdude and Swallow walk in.
DARKWING
Speak of the devil! We were just talking about you. Look, Superdude, we've been making up with each other, and I figure it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to give you your job back.
SUPERDUDE
You'd like that, wouldn't you?! Well how do you like this?!
Superdude leans over and makes out with Swallow.
DARKWING
What are you doing?
SUPERDUDE
You took my job, well I took your life-partner!
ULTRA-GIRL
How much have you had to drink?
DART
I think you went too far on this one.
SUPERDUDE
You took everything from me! First you take being a superhero! Then you wrestled the Society right out of my grasp when you knew I should've been the leader! You took years off my love life by making me date that stupid bimbo!
Ultra-Girl looks at Darkwing, shocked.
DARKWING
It wasn't like that! You don't understand!
SUPERDUDE
"It'll be good for ratings" you said! "It'll help dispell that gay rumour!" Who the hell are you to talk?!
ROBO-MAN
You're not exactly looking totally hetero yourself there, Dude.
SUPERDUDE
Shut up! You don't know what he's done to me! He follows me through my life, he wrecked my superhero career, then he fires me from the newspaper!...
DART
Let's clear something up. Are you gay, or what?
SUPERDUDE
I'm pissed off, that's what I am! I'll be whatever I need to be to show you the pain you've shown me, and what better way than by taking away your love?!
DARKWING
Umm... Me and Swallow haven't talked for years.
SUPERDUDE
What? Why didn't you tell me that... you know... (whispers) last night?
SWALLOW
You didn't ask.
SUPERDUDE
You mean?!...
Superdude just stands there, speechless.
SWALLOW
God, what I wouldn't give for a distraction right now.
The door is thrust open, and wheeling in on a damaged office chair is Captain Admiral, his once unblemished face now covered with an eye patch and a scar. He wears a tattered army jacket. His legs are gone from the knees down and his shorts are tied off at the end. He pushes the chair across the floor by rowing with a broom. Nobody knows how to react.
INT. REUNION HALL (ASIDE) - NIGHT
Superdude stands away from the crowd, against the wall talking to the camera.
SUPERDUDE
Seeing Captain Admiral was a real eye opener. I mean, we all had it bad after we broke up, but... this was different. I thought I was the worst off, but this makes me realize how lucky I am.
INT. REUNION HALL - NIGHT
Everyone stands around, not knowing how to start a conversation with Captain Admiral.
ROBO-MAN
Well... This is quite the bombshell.
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
Bombshell?! Is that some sort of crack?! What the hell are you doing here anyway, traitor?! I might be crippled but I'll kick your ass!
With one swift push of his broom, Captain Admiral speeds at Robo-Man, the broom out in front of him as if he is jousting.
INT. REUNION HALL (ASIDE) - NIGHT
Captain Admiral talks to the camera.
Superimpose:
Gen. Captain Admiral
Creepy homeless guy (2005-present)/U.S. Army (1999-2005)/Founding HSE Member (1989-1999)
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
How was I supposed to know we weren't trying to kill him anymore? Back in my day he was the bad guy! The world I grew up in is gone...
INT. REUNION HALL - NIGHT
Robo-Man lies on the floor as Captain Admiral does the equivilant of a victory dance.
DART
Captain Admiral!
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
That's General Captain Admiral to you, civillian!
DARKWING
What happened to you? Last I heard you got shipped off to Iraq.
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
Got caught in a blast back in '05.
DART
And once again our government fails one of our greatest heroes...
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
Take your hippie-commie-Nazi crap back to Russiastan you terrorist! I'll take you down myself you pinko-liberal-homocrat!
Captain Admiral launches at Dart when a shot is heard and Darkwing falls to the ground. Swallow immediately runs to his aide while everyone else stares at the door. Professor Genius stands there, his gun pointed at the group.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Forgot about me, didn't you? Again and again, you always forgot about me! Well I will not be forgotten any longer. The Hero Society of Earth was my idea! How can you not invite me to the reunion?!
ULTRA-GIRL
Because you're a nutcase who shoots at his former team-mates.
PROFESSOR GENIUS
You're next.
Professor Genius aims at Ultra-Girl when Superdude knocks the gun out of his hand and punches him to the ground, sliding several feet. As he starts to stand up he reaches into his coat and pulls out a lightsaber. He turns it on to everyone's dismay.
SUPERDUDE
Is that a lightsaber?
PROFESSOR GENIUS
Elementary physics my fourth-grade friend. Of course even I'm not intelligent enough to explain it to you. You'd lose your head if it wasn't attached to you. Of course, it won't be for much longer.
At the moment the professor and Superdude line up to fight, Ultra-Girl runs in. Having to play a defensive game, dodging the attacks, Superdude and Ultra-Girl seem evenly matched with the professor's laser sword. On the other side of the room the dying Darkwing and Swallow look into each other's eyes.
DARKWING
Just in case I don't make it, I want you to know...
SWALLOW
Don't say that. You'll be fine.
DARKWING
Fine. In that case, when we get out of here... will you marry me?
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
Not in my damn country! Except for those sissy girly-man states...
DART
He's actually right. I can't believe Prop. 8 passed...
Ultra-Girl continues to help Superdude battle Professor Genius, but doesn't seem happy to.
ULTRA-GIRL
I don't know why I'm helping you... you... whore!
SUPERDUDE
Now's not the time!
ULTRA-GIRL
You had plenty of time for me when you were getting paid! Maybe if I slip you a ten you'll have the time to tell me what the hell your problem is.
SUPERDUDE
Look, maybe at first it wasn't real, but over the years... it became real. I swear, if I had another chance with you, I would take it in a second.
ULTRA-GIRL
That sounds like something out of an '80s teen movie, and I know you're just saying that to calm me down.
SUPERDUDE
I'm saying that because you're a damn movie star. Every guy in the world wants a chance with you. I'm also saying it because you're one of the best friends I've ever had, and the only one with the opposite set of downstairs parts. Plus, I think the only other one I had a chance with is with someone else.
Robo-Man starts to awaken and sees Swallow mourning over Darkwing on the ground.
ROBO-MAN
What happened?
SWALLOW
That skinny freak!
Robo-Man looks at the fight which Professor Genius seems to be winning. He charges in and with his cyborg arms, lands several punches on the professor before he fights back. With a single sweep, Robo-Man's arm is sliced clean off. The fight pauses as Professor Genius smiles smugly at his victim.
ROBO-MAN
You know, in prison, I spend a lot of time watching movies, and you wanna know the one thing I learned? The guy who gets his arm cut off with a lightsaber usually comes out on top, figuratively speaking.
Robo-Man grabs Professor Genius by the throat and throws him across the room, knocking him out.
CAPTAIN ADMIRAL
Well God damn... You're all right.
INT. PRISON CELL - DAY
Professor Genius sits in an orange jumpsuit in a dark cell.
SUPERDUDE (V.O.)
Well, Professor Genius is going away for a while. Technically he can only get attempted murder, but that's enough to keep him away.
INT. LAB - DAY
Robo-Man, his arm reattached, wears a lab coat and works intently on his experiments.
SUPERDUDE (V.O.)
Robo-Man got a pardon from the governor and went back to school. He said he's eyeing a job at MIT for when he graduates.
INT. DART'S OFFICE - DAY
Dart sits at his desk doing paperwork.
SUPERDUDE (V.O.)
Speaking of the governor, the publicity from the reunion reminded everyone he's a superhero, and he won re-election in a landslide. There are rumours he's thinking of running for President.
EXT. APARTMENT - DAY
Darkwing and Swallow stand in a lavishly dressed apartment yelling at each other.
SUPERDUDE (V.O.)
Darkwing made a full recovery. He and Swallow moved to Vermont, where they could live happily ever after.
INT. SUPERDUDE'S CUBICLE - DAY
Superdude's cubicle is once again filled with his belongings and he sits in front of his computer, the word processor with the headline "HERO SOCIETY OF EARTH REUNITES FOR ONE FINAL BATTLE." He looks at the camera with a calm look of satisfaction on his face.
SUPERDUDE
He gave me my job back, too. Am I living the dream? No, I'm not, but I get by. I get by.
Superdude's cell phone rings. He flips it open and the camera zooms in on the caller ID which reads "ULTRA-GIRL."
SUPERDUDE
Hey. Nothing, I'm just leaving work. I don't know... eight o'clock? Alright, it's a date.
Superdude puts the phone away, shuts off the computer and starts to walk away before turning to the camera one last time.
SUPERDUDE
I get by pretty well.
