Post by Xplayadam on Dec 13, 2009 18:32:47 GMT -5
INT. DANIF RAP’S CAR- DAY
Danif Rap drives while Zack Woody sits in the passenger’s seat.
“Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again” by Bob Dylan begins to play.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP
Zack Woody confronts the tall black, thick Jamaican-accented Chris Toh.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP BACKROOM
Danif unpacks stuff as Jane Willow stands behind him.
CUT TO
INT. FOODCOURT
Chris Toh towers over Danif and Zack.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP
Zack works the register.
CUT TO
INT. SPENCER GIFTS
Danif and Zack turn over their shoulders to see the backdoor open.
Out from the backdoor, he emerges from a thick mist.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP
Jane works the counter a Customer comes up.
CUT TO
INT. COFFE SHOP
Zack and Danif share a table with Jesus.
The music cuts out.
CUT TO
INT. MAUL’S MALL
Danif and Zack run down the mall, with all the attendees doing an elaborate dance number in the background.
Danif Rap drives while Zack Woody sits in the passenger’s seat.
Zack Woody
I’ve fucked a lot of women.
Danif Rap
Is that good?
Zack Woody
Yes.
Danif Rap
Good.
Zack Woody
No. It’s bad that I had sex with women.
Danif Rap
What If you catch an STD?
Zack Woody
That’ll never happen.
Danif Rap
You said the same thing about Dark Knight Strikes Again.
Zack Woody
Piss off.
I’ve fucked a lot of women.
Danif Rap
Is that good?
Zack Woody
Yes.
Danif Rap
Good.
Zack Woody
No. It’s bad that I had sex with women.
Danif Rap
What If you catch an STD?
Zack Woody
That’ll never happen.
Danif Rap
You said the same thing about Dark Knight Strikes Again.
Zack Woody
Piss off.
They fought off boredom once.
“Stuck Inside of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again” by Bob Dylan begins to play.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP
Zack Woody confronts the tall black, thick Jamaican-accented Chris Toh.
Zack Woody
Who are you and what do you want?
Chris Toh
I Chris Toh, the most powerful black man in Jersey.
Zack Woody
That’s like saying you’re the most powerful black man in a shithole.
Chris Toh
What kind of analogy is that?
Zack Woody
It wasn’t.
Chris Toh
I’ma buy your shop.
Zack Woody
Why?
Chris Toh
To sell my book.
But new threats linger in the dark.
Who are you and what do you want?
Chris Toh
I Chris Toh, the most powerful black man in Jersey.
Zack Woody
That’s like saying you’re the most powerful black man in a shithole.
Chris Toh
What kind of analogy is that?
Zack Woody
It wasn’t.
Chris Toh
I’ma buy your shop.
Zack Woody
Why?
Chris Toh
To sell my book.
But new threats linger in the dark.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP BACKROOM
Danif unpacks stuff as Jane Willow stands behind him.
Danif Rap
What’s up?
Jane Willow
Just watching you sort through shit.
Danif Rap
Fun?
Jane Willow
Tons. Almost as much as having a special someone come over to your house and leave at 8, so you can sleep alone and wonder were you went wrong for about until you cry yourself to sleep at 4 in the morning then go to work at 10 to see the same “special someone” act as if nothing happened: almost as fun as that.
What’s up?
Jane Willow
Just watching you sort through shit.
Danif Rap
Fun?
Jane Willow
Tons. Almost as much as having a special someone come over to your house and leave at 8, so you can sleep alone and wonder were you went wrong for about until you cry yourself to sleep at 4 in the morning then go to work at 10 to see the same “special someone” act as if nothing happened: almost as fun as that.
CUT TO
INT. FOODCOURT
Chris Toh towers over Danif and Zack.
Chris Toh
Fuck you and fuck your friend.
Danif Rap
What did I do?
Chris Toh
I’m coming for you and your boyfriend and your bloody comic shop.
…like customers.
Fuck you and fuck your friend.
Danif Rap
What did I do?
Chris Toh
I’m coming for you and your boyfriend and your bloody comic shop.
…like customers.
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP
Zack works the register.
Dogface
I’d like to make a complaint!
Zack Woody
This ain’t the fucking AICN message boards. But go ahead.
They’re gonna need help. Savior-like help.
I’d like to make a complaint!
Zack Woody
This ain’t the fucking AICN message boards. But go ahead.
They’re gonna need help. Savior-like help.
CUT TO
INT. SPENCER GIFTS
Danif and Zack turn over their shoulders to see the backdoor open.
Stranger
I know a little something about miracles.
I know a little something about miracles.
Out from the backdoor, he emerges from a thick mist.
Danif Rap
Oh. My. God.
Jesus Christ
That’s my Father’s name.
On January 17th, nothing will ever be the same again…
Oh. My. God.
Jesus Christ
That’s my Father’s name.
On January 17th, nothing will ever be the same again…
CUT TO
INT. COMIC SHOP
Jane works the counter a Customer comes up.
Jane Willow
Can I help you?
Customer #1
Hey, you’re a girl!
Jane Willow
Imagine that! Someone with a y-chromosome running the register at a comic-book store!
Customer #1
Wow… you’re so pretty.
Jane Willow
What do you want?
Customer #1
You’re phone-number.
Jane Willow
Alright, this can’t get anymore awkward.
Customer #1
Do you swallow?
…well, maybe.
Can I help you?
Customer #1
Hey, you’re a girl!
Jane Willow
Imagine that! Someone with a y-chromosome running the register at a comic-book store!
Customer #1
Wow… you’re so pretty.
Jane Willow
What do you want?
Customer #1
You’re phone-number.
Jane Willow
Alright, this can’t get anymore awkward.
Customer #1
Do you swallow?
…well, maybe.
CUT TO
INT. COFFE SHOP
Zack and Danif share a table with Jesus.
Jesus Christ
No more dicking around, it’s about time I give you some advice.
Zack Woody
Finally.
Jesus Christ
You have two options: let me go on for hours or do a awesome musical number
No more dicking around, it’s about time I give you some advice.
Zack Woody
Finally.
Jesus Christ
You have two options: let me go on for hours or do a awesome musical number
The music cuts out.
CUT TO
INT. MAUL’S MALL
Danif and Zack run down the mall, with all the attendees doing an elaborate dance number in the background.
Danif Rap (Singing)
We’ve got to do something!
Zack Woody (Singing)
Something quick!
Danif Rap (Singing)
Something swift!
Zack Woody (Singing)
Do something
Oh yeah
Do something quick
All this singing is making me sick!
We’ve got to do something!
Zack Woody (Singing)
Something quick!
Danif Rap (Singing)
Something swift!
Zack Woody (Singing)
Do something
Oh yeah
Do something quick
All this singing is making me sick!
THE COMIC SHOP 2
Justin Long, Seth Green, Ellen Page, Michael Jai White, Doug Jones
Jonah Hill with Kevin Smith as Jesus Christ
January 17
Rated R for Strong coarse language, sexual content and minor violence.
Justin Long, Seth Green, Ellen Page, Michael Jai White, Doug Jones
Jonah Hill with Kevin Smith as Jesus Christ
January 17
Rated R for Strong coarse language, sexual content and minor violence.
