Post by blaggers on Oct 10, 2008 9:40:24 GMT -5
Barrett and T-Mac
Season 1, Episode #2: "Growing Pains"
Starring
Michael Cera as T-Mac
Scott Michael Foster as Barrett
Emma Roberts as Laura
Guest Starring
Jonah Hill as Rob
Johnny Lewis as Nick
Kat Dennings as Ordering McDonald's Girl
Charlyne Yi as McDonald's Parking Lot Woman
INT. APARTMENT
Fade in on T-Mac sitting on the couch eating from a jar of apple sauce. He is dressed oddly, wearing a polo shirt, khakis and sandals. Barrett enters and laughs as soon as he catches a glimpse of T-Mac.
BARRETT
(between laughs)
Hah! What the hell are you wearing?!
T-MAC
Laura threw out all my old junk and bought me new clothes.
BARRETT
You look like Gilligan.
T-Mac smiles awkwardly at the camera.
Laura then enters the apartment holding shopping bags.
BARRETT
Hey Laura, where do you plan on taking weekend Seymour Skinner today?
LAURA
I happen to think he looks quite handsome.
T-MAC
(under his breath)
Handsomely gay.
Laura hears him.
LAURA
Excuse me?! If you hate it so much then why did you go along with me?
BARRETT
What kind of question is that? Old Tommy here is a push over. It's like asking a bag of sugar if you want to go to the store. It's whether or not you can be assed taking it with you.
» THEMESONG «
INT. KITCHEN
T-Mac is seen placing cinnamon toast in the toaster.
T-MAC
(to camera)
You know, I like doing this. Making toast for us. Just Barrett and I eat it though, because Laura's all into this organic stuff these days. I thought toast was organic. Well, fruit toast anyway. Learn something every day, huh.
As an awkward moment arises, unbeknown to T-Mac, the toaster has caught on fire.
BARRETT (O.S.)
Jesus H. Christ!
Barrett comes running into shot with half a glass of juice. He starts to our the juice on the fire.
BARRETT
It's just getting bigger!
T-MAC
Blow on it!
Barrett blows on it, which makes the flame spread to a tea towel close-by. T-Mac lets out the girliest scream of all time and legs it out of the apartment.
EXT. APARTMENT
The fire brigade are shown walking through the apartment complex holding the charcoaled piece of toast. They look at each other and laugh.
FIREMAN #1
What douchebags.
FIREMAN #2
You can say that again.
INT. T-MAC'S CAR
T-Mac is behind the wheel of his car. He puts on a bicycle helmet.
T-MAC
(to camera, tapping the helmet)
God's gift to my noggin. I wear one of these whenever I drive. Never know when an infant will invade the road and cause you to fly through the windscreen in a panic.
EXT. MCDONALD'S
Barrett arrives for work at McDonald's. He's approached by his boss, Rob.
ROB
Hey, Barrett! Travis hasn't showed up for his shift, so are you cool for working behind the counter?
BARRETT
You...you don't want me in the storage room anymore.
ROB
Well, not for today.
Barrett punches the air.
BARRETT
Yeah!
INT. T-MAC'S CAR
T-Mac is now on the road driving.
T-MAC
Whenever I have nothing to do, I pop over to my buddy Nick's house. He's a great friend. Actually, I haven't spoken to him for...one and a...half years or so. Good to catch up with him.
INT. MCDONALD'S
Barrett is at the fries oven.
BARRETT
(to camera)
This is my time to shine, you know? It's make or break for my McDonald's career.
INT. MCDONALD'S (LATER)
A beautiful looking young girl approaches the counter. Barrett collects himself.
BARRETT
Next please!
GIRL
Oh hey. I'll have-
BARRETT
Hi.
GIRL
Umm, hi.
BARRETT
What's up?
GIRL
I'm just...trying to order my lunch.
BARRETT
Sweet. What are you getting?
GIRL
I'll uh, have...a quarter pounder.
BARRETT
That it?
GIRL
Yeah.
BARRETT
You can have more than that. You're not fat or anything.
GIRL
...I know. Now can you please go and put my quarter pounder in a brown paper bag so I can get back to work?
EXT. PARKING LOT OF MCDONALD'S
Barrett is leaning against his car smoking a cigarette.
BARRETT
(to camera)
I got fired. I guess the McDonald's higher-ups just can't handle me and my total stud ways. I liken myself to Stiffdick from those American Pie movies. Or Stiffler. Whatever his name was. Sean Williams Scott. I'm a dead carbon copy. We were seperated at birth.
A woman walks past Barrett.
BARRETT
Hey sweet cheeks.
The woman looks at Barrett in disgust.
WOMAN
You smell like urine.
BARRETT
(to camera)
You can edit that out, yeah?
EXT./INT. NICK'S HOUSE
T-Mac parks the car in front of Nick's house.
T-MAC
(to camera)
I hope Nick's home.
T-Mac approaches the font door, which he opens without knocking or anything.
T-MAC
(calling out)
Hey Nick. It's just me, T-Mac, from school.
NICK
(muffled from the bedroom)
Oh Jesus!
T-Mac hears Nick's voice and follows it. He approaches Nick's bedroom. He opens the door, revealing Nick with Laura. They're both naked. Laura in under the covers and Nick has a pillow covering his crotch.
NICK
Tom! I can explain!
T-MAC
(naively)
You're a cool dude. I'm sure there will be a perfect explanation.
NICK
(surprised at T-Mac's stupidity)
I uh, was doing my...art class project. Yeah.
T-MAC
That's a perfectly fine explanation.
LAURA
You...you're not worried that I'm naked in Nick's bed?
T-MAC
No, it's an art project Laura. Didn't you hear?
Laura smacks her forehead. She can't believe T-Mac's stupidity.
T-MAC
So can I hang put with you guys? I'm kinda bored.
LAURA
No Thomas. Just go back to the apartment and I'll meet you there, okay?
T-MAC
Allllrighty then.
(beat, to camera)
Ace Ventura...Pet Detective reference.
INT. T-MAC'S CAR
T-Mac is on his way home.
T-MAC
(to camera)
I'm kinda bummed that I can't hang out. I'm gonna be bored. Oh well. At least she isn't cheating or anything, haha.
INT. APARTMENT
T-Mac and Barrett are sitting on the sofa watching Will & Grace reruns.
T-MAC
You got fired?! Oh man.
BARRETT
Oh well. The sky's the limit for me, man. Maybe I should become a pilot. Or a rocket scientist. Or a brain surgeon.
(beat)
So how was your day?
T-MAC
Ah, not too bad. Pretty boring.
BARRETT
Ah.
T-MAC
I dropped in to see Nick, but he was busy doing an art project with Laura.
BARRETT
How come Laura didn't tell you?
T-MAC
I dunno. She's always going out without telling me. It's some wacky art project though, I'll tell you that much.
BARRETT
Oh yeah?
T-MAC
Yeah. They were both naked.
Barrett looks at the camera and mouths "Oh my God!" as we fade to black...
THE END.
Season 1, Episode #2: "Growing Pains"
Starring
Michael Cera as T-Mac
Scott Michael Foster as Barrett
Emma Roberts as Laura
Guest Starring
Jonah Hill as Rob
Johnny Lewis as Nick
Kat Dennings as Ordering McDonald's Girl
Charlyne Yi as McDonald's Parking Lot Woman
INT. APARTMENT
Fade in on T-Mac sitting on the couch eating from a jar of apple sauce. He is dressed oddly, wearing a polo shirt, khakis and sandals. Barrett enters and laughs as soon as he catches a glimpse of T-Mac.
BARRETT
(between laughs)
Hah! What the hell are you wearing?!
T-MAC
Laura threw out all my old junk and bought me new clothes.
BARRETT
You look like Gilligan.
T-Mac smiles awkwardly at the camera.
Laura then enters the apartment holding shopping bags.
BARRETT
Hey Laura, where do you plan on taking weekend Seymour Skinner today?
LAURA
I happen to think he looks quite handsome.
T-MAC
(under his breath)
Handsomely gay.
Laura hears him.
LAURA
Excuse me?! If you hate it so much then why did you go along with me?
BARRETT
What kind of question is that? Old Tommy here is a push over. It's like asking a bag of sugar if you want to go to the store. It's whether or not you can be assed taking it with you.
» THEMESONG «
INT. KITCHEN
T-Mac is seen placing cinnamon toast in the toaster.
T-MAC
(to camera)
You know, I like doing this. Making toast for us. Just Barrett and I eat it though, because Laura's all into this organic stuff these days. I thought toast was organic. Well, fruit toast anyway. Learn something every day, huh.
As an awkward moment arises, unbeknown to T-Mac, the toaster has caught on fire.
BARRETT (O.S.)
Jesus H. Christ!
Barrett comes running into shot with half a glass of juice. He starts to our the juice on the fire.
BARRETT
It's just getting bigger!
T-MAC
Blow on it!
Barrett blows on it, which makes the flame spread to a tea towel close-by. T-Mac lets out the girliest scream of all time and legs it out of the apartment.
EXT. APARTMENT
The fire brigade are shown walking through the apartment complex holding the charcoaled piece of toast. They look at each other and laugh.
FIREMAN #1
What douchebags.
FIREMAN #2
You can say that again.
INT. T-MAC'S CAR
T-Mac is behind the wheel of his car. He puts on a bicycle helmet.
T-MAC
(to camera, tapping the helmet)
God's gift to my noggin. I wear one of these whenever I drive. Never know when an infant will invade the road and cause you to fly through the windscreen in a panic.
EXT. MCDONALD'S
Barrett arrives for work at McDonald's. He's approached by his boss, Rob.
ROB
Hey, Barrett! Travis hasn't showed up for his shift, so are you cool for working behind the counter?
BARRETT
You...you don't want me in the storage room anymore.
ROB
Well, not for today.
Barrett punches the air.
BARRETT
Yeah!
INT. T-MAC'S CAR
T-Mac is now on the road driving.
T-MAC
Whenever I have nothing to do, I pop over to my buddy Nick's house. He's a great friend. Actually, I haven't spoken to him for...one and a...half years or so. Good to catch up with him.
INT. MCDONALD'S
Barrett is at the fries oven.
BARRETT
(to camera)
This is my time to shine, you know? It's make or break for my McDonald's career.
INT. MCDONALD'S (LATER)
A beautiful looking young girl approaches the counter. Barrett collects himself.
BARRETT
Next please!
GIRL
Oh hey. I'll have-
BARRETT
Hi.
GIRL
Umm, hi.
BARRETT
What's up?
GIRL
I'm just...trying to order my lunch.
BARRETT
Sweet. What are you getting?
GIRL
I'll uh, have...a quarter pounder.
BARRETT
That it?
GIRL
Yeah.
BARRETT
You can have more than that. You're not fat or anything.
GIRL
...I know. Now can you please go and put my quarter pounder in a brown paper bag so I can get back to work?
EXT. PARKING LOT OF MCDONALD'S
Barrett is leaning against his car smoking a cigarette.
BARRETT
(to camera)
I got fired. I guess the McDonald's higher-ups just can't handle me and my total stud ways. I liken myself to Stiffdick from those American Pie movies. Or Stiffler. Whatever his name was. Sean Williams Scott. I'm a dead carbon copy. We were seperated at birth.
A woman walks past Barrett.
BARRETT
Hey sweet cheeks.
The woman looks at Barrett in disgust.
WOMAN
You smell like urine.
BARRETT
(to camera)
You can edit that out, yeah?
EXT./INT. NICK'S HOUSE
T-Mac parks the car in front of Nick's house.
T-MAC
(to camera)
I hope Nick's home.
T-Mac approaches the font door, which he opens without knocking or anything.
T-MAC
(calling out)
Hey Nick. It's just me, T-Mac, from school.
NICK
(muffled from the bedroom)
Oh Jesus!
T-Mac hears Nick's voice and follows it. He approaches Nick's bedroom. He opens the door, revealing Nick with Laura. They're both naked. Laura in under the covers and Nick has a pillow covering his crotch.
NICK
Tom! I can explain!
T-MAC
(naively)
You're a cool dude. I'm sure there will be a perfect explanation.
NICK
(surprised at T-Mac's stupidity)
I uh, was doing my...art class project. Yeah.
T-MAC
That's a perfectly fine explanation.
LAURA
You...you're not worried that I'm naked in Nick's bed?
T-MAC
No, it's an art project Laura. Didn't you hear?
Laura smacks her forehead. She can't believe T-Mac's stupidity.
T-MAC
So can I hang put with you guys? I'm kinda bored.
LAURA
No Thomas. Just go back to the apartment and I'll meet you there, okay?
T-MAC
Allllrighty then.
(beat, to camera)
Ace Ventura...Pet Detective reference.
INT. T-MAC'S CAR
T-Mac is on his way home.
T-MAC
(to camera)
I'm kinda bummed that I can't hang out. I'm gonna be bored. Oh well. At least she isn't cheating or anything, haha.
INT. APARTMENT
T-Mac and Barrett are sitting on the sofa watching Will & Grace reruns.
T-MAC
You got fired?! Oh man.
BARRETT
Oh well. The sky's the limit for me, man. Maybe I should become a pilot. Or a rocket scientist. Or a brain surgeon.
(beat)
So how was your day?
T-MAC
Ah, not too bad. Pretty boring.
BARRETT
Ah.
T-MAC
I dropped in to see Nick, but he was busy doing an art project with Laura.
BARRETT
How come Laura didn't tell you?
T-MAC
I dunno. She's always going out without telling me. It's some wacky art project though, I'll tell you that much.
BARRETT
Oh yeah?
T-MAC
Yeah. They were both naked.
Barrett looks at the camera and mouths "Oh my God!" as we fade to black...
THE END.
