Post by Dale on Jan 20, 2008 20:48:02 GMT -5
Series Pilot: Elroy and Jake
Episode: Where in God’s Name…
Starring:
Bill English as Jake Jones
Eric Szmanda as Elroy Johnson
P Diddy as Himself
----------------
-Elroy Johnson is seen walking down a backstage corridor. He sees a big sign that says “P Diddy”. He walks in, and looks around.-
Elroy- Hello? Mr. Diddy?
P Diddy- Man, who is it?
Elroy- Me, dawg. Elroy Jay!
P Diddy- Dear God. Come in, man.
-Elroy walks into the room, and sees P Diddy sitting in a large black recliner. He’s got a black suit on with a white tie. Elroy sits across the table from him.-
Elroy- What’s up?
P Diddy- Not much. Concert starts in about two hours, so, just waitin’ around, since ther’ ain’t much else to do.
Elroy- I know, right? You said I could open up for y’all, so I be here.
-P Diddy gets up to examine him. He walks around him, and stands right over top of him, right behind him.-
P Diddy- Hell naw, man. You stink.
Elroy- What you mean? You ain’t even heard my rhymes yet!
P Diddy- I meant you smell, man. You smell really bad.
Elroy- Oh. I was gonna say, ya know, you ain’t even heard what I could do, so I wasn’t expecting you to tell me I stunk. But yeah, people tell me that. I don’t bathe, because water frightens me.
P Diddy- Huh?
Elroy- Yeah, I’m allergic
P Diddy- Whatever, get the hell outta here. You ain’t doin’ nothing for me.
Elroy- Alright, because I was gonna sa--
P Diddy- Get out!
-Elroy leaves, and some rap music plays. It’s not really a rap song, just a background beat. Elroy is seen walking down the street, kicking a can along as he goes. He hears a voice.-
Voice- Hey, you look like you could use some help.
Elroy- Huh?
-Elroy looks around.-
Elroy- Where you at?
Voice- Over here. To your left.
-Elroy looks to his left and sees a man in a suit.-
Elroy- Oh. Who are you?
Voice- Name’s Jake. Jake Jones. I’m a psychiatric adviser.-
Elroy- Whadda-who-huh?
Jake- Psychiatric adviser. I’m a psychiatrist. I give people mental help, and they’re normal again. You look like you could use some help, son.
Elroy- You callin’ me stupid? Coz I’d be more than happy to beat you down.
Jake- Well, at least someone realizes that I exist. I can’t get a job anywhere, and everyone acts like I’m not even here.
Elroy- Tough luck, man. I can’t get a gig nowhere in this town.
-Jake moves a bit closer, and begins to smell Elroy’s stench.-
Jake- Man, you stink!
Elroy- You ain’t even heard me!
Jake- I meant your smell, kid. You bathe often?
Elroy- Nope, never. I’m allergic to water.
Jake- Well, how about showing me where you live? I think we could be roommates. You’re the only person who will talk to me, so I guess that smelling you is something that I could deal with. So, what do you say?
Elroy- Sure, come on.
-The two move on, and Elroy sees something behind a house.-
Elroy- What is that?
-Elroy keeps moving toward it, and it gets brighter.-
Jake- Looks like a portal.
Elroy- Yeah it does.
-Elroy and Jake both go up to it, and get sucked in. They go through a multi-colored pit, which seems to not stop. They keep falling and screaming, seeing things like a dinosaur, a broom, and a TV set, playing a football game on it. They hit the ground and look around.-
Jake- Where in God’s name are we?
Elroy- To be honest with you, I’m not real sure where we are. It looks like this could be fun though. It’s very bright, and there is a lot of grass around.
-Elroy looks stunned at himself.-
Elroy- What is wrong with me? I am enunciating everything! No! This cannot be happening to me!
Jake- What’s your problem?
Elroy- I’m talking like some white person! This sucks! I.. I can’t believe this is happening!
Jake- You are white, son.
Elroy- I’m only white on the outside! Now don’t you ever tell me I’m white again! Because I am black at heart, and we both know it!
-Elroy sees something fly across the sky, and follows it. Jake in turn, decides to follow Elroy to see what it is.-
-Fade to Black-
VO- Next time on Elroy & Jake
-Cut to Elroy stopping, seeing a giant crater.-
Jake- I wonder what that leads to.
Elroy- I wonder if it takes us home.
Jake- I don’t want to be the one to find out, so it looks like we won’t be.
Elroy- But I want to go home! I can’t deal with talking like this!
-Cut to Jake being sucked into the sky-
Jake- Help me!
Elroy- I’m coming!
-Elroy reaches up, but he can’t reach.-
-Cut to a Ghost Buster falling from the sky.-
Ghost Buster- Looks like we got us a ghost here buddy.
Elroy- What?
-Fade to Black-
Episode: Where in God’s Name…
Starring:
Bill English as Jake Jones
Eric Szmanda as Elroy Johnson
P Diddy as Himself
----------------
-Elroy Johnson is seen walking down a backstage corridor. He sees a big sign that says “P Diddy”. He walks in, and looks around.-
Elroy- Hello? Mr. Diddy?
P Diddy- Man, who is it?
Elroy- Me, dawg. Elroy Jay!
P Diddy- Dear God. Come in, man.
-Elroy walks into the room, and sees P Diddy sitting in a large black recliner. He’s got a black suit on with a white tie. Elroy sits across the table from him.-
Elroy- What’s up?
P Diddy- Not much. Concert starts in about two hours, so, just waitin’ around, since ther’ ain’t much else to do.
Elroy- I know, right? You said I could open up for y’all, so I be here.
-P Diddy gets up to examine him. He walks around him, and stands right over top of him, right behind him.-
P Diddy- Hell naw, man. You stink.
Elroy- What you mean? You ain’t even heard my rhymes yet!
P Diddy- I meant you smell, man. You smell really bad.
Elroy- Oh. I was gonna say, ya know, you ain’t even heard what I could do, so I wasn’t expecting you to tell me I stunk. But yeah, people tell me that. I don’t bathe, because water frightens me.
P Diddy- Huh?
Elroy- Yeah, I’m allergic
P Diddy- Whatever, get the hell outta here. You ain’t doin’ nothing for me.
Elroy- Alright, because I was gonna sa--
P Diddy- Get out!
-Elroy leaves, and some rap music plays. It’s not really a rap song, just a background beat. Elroy is seen walking down the street, kicking a can along as he goes. He hears a voice.-
Voice- Hey, you look like you could use some help.
Elroy- Huh?
-Elroy looks around.-
Elroy- Where you at?
Voice- Over here. To your left.
-Elroy looks to his left and sees a man in a suit.-
Elroy- Oh. Who are you?
Voice- Name’s Jake. Jake Jones. I’m a psychiatric adviser.-
Elroy- Whadda-who-huh?
Jake- Psychiatric adviser. I’m a psychiatrist. I give people mental help, and they’re normal again. You look like you could use some help, son.
Elroy- You callin’ me stupid? Coz I’d be more than happy to beat you down.
Jake- Well, at least someone realizes that I exist. I can’t get a job anywhere, and everyone acts like I’m not even here.
Elroy- Tough luck, man. I can’t get a gig nowhere in this town.
-Jake moves a bit closer, and begins to smell Elroy’s stench.-
Jake- Man, you stink!
Elroy- You ain’t even heard me!
Jake- I meant your smell, kid. You bathe often?
Elroy- Nope, never. I’m allergic to water.
Jake- Well, how about showing me where you live? I think we could be roommates. You’re the only person who will talk to me, so I guess that smelling you is something that I could deal with. So, what do you say?
Elroy- Sure, come on.
-The two move on, and Elroy sees something behind a house.-
Elroy- What is that?
-Elroy keeps moving toward it, and it gets brighter.-
Jake- Looks like a portal.
Elroy- Yeah it does.
-Elroy and Jake both go up to it, and get sucked in. They go through a multi-colored pit, which seems to not stop. They keep falling and screaming, seeing things like a dinosaur, a broom, and a TV set, playing a football game on it. They hit the ground and look around.-
Jake- Where in God’s name are we?
Elroy- To be honest with you, I’m not real sure where we are. It looks like this could be fun though. It’s very bright, and there is a lot of grass around.
-Elroy looks stunned at himself.-
Elroy- What is wrong with me? I am enunciating everything! No! This cannot be happening to me!
Jake- What’s your problem?
Elroy- I’m talking like some white person! This sucks! I.. I can’t believe this is happening!
Jake- You are white, son.
Elroy- I’m only white on the outside! Now don’t you ever tell me I’m white again! Because I am black at heart, and we both know it!
-Elroy sees something fly across the sky, and follows it. Jake in turn, decides to follow Elroy to see what it is.-
-Fade to Black-
VO- Next time on Elroy & Jake
-Cut to Elroy stopping, seeing a giant crater.-
Jake- I wonder what that leads to.
Elroy- I wonder if it takes us home.
Jake- I don’t want to be the one to find out, so it looks like we won’t be.
Elroy- But I want to go home! I can’t deal with talking like this!
-Cut to Jake being sucked into the sky-
Jake- Help me!
Elroy- I’m coming!
-Elroy reaches up, but he can’t reach.-
-Cut to a Ghost Buster falling from the sky.-
Ghost Buster- Looks like we got us a ghost here buddy.
Elroy- What?
-Fade to Black-
