May I humbly suggest...

[blg]

...that Ufology be the film of the week/two weeks/six months? I want to keep editing and improving the script over time, so I'm looking for any suggestions no matter how vague or specific as to what you'd like to see added or changed.

And hey, you can always talk about the stuff you liked as well

[Max]

Wrongly thought Idea removed

[Natalie]

I have absolutely no idea what you just said Max, but that's not how it goes.

You just discuss the film, like say 10 people have read the film you discuss it like a book club sort of, then you suggest ways to improve it (if it needs improving)

[blg]

Max, I was referring to the length of time that lapses between films of the "week". It was a joke.

[Natalie]

I knew it was a joke but I am up for discussing this bad boy when I get my read on.

[Casablanca]

I WILL TRY NOT TO ADD SPOILERS IN, BUT I MAY HINT TO ONE OR TWO, SO IF YOU DID NOT READ IT, PLEASE DON'T READ.

I think so; I know there was alot of replying to reviews, and back-an-forth stuff; so it seems to be a "talkable" movie.

One thing that I thought could be done a bit; was to give Emma more of a focus; particularly at the end. I did enjoy the very last scene, but I would have liked to see her get a little more of a redemption there; have her more looked into, then her simply passing off the few events prior because Max claims to be alright now. I do think she is a wonderful character, though, and probably my favorite.

I really liked Helena/Max together. They were a good pair, and I think that diving more into their relationship could be good or bad, depending on how it was done. Thus, I am not going to state that as something I would like to see. I would like to see a bit more drama regarding Helena and her family; maybe have her somehow question her family life, in not so blatant a manner as she did when talking to Max. This can be shown, perhaps, with a scene where Max see’s (or spies on) Helena and her father talking.

The kidnapping subplot is one that caught me off guard. I do like it, as it gives Danny’s character a sense of purpose; but,. While what you have is good, I wouldn’t like to see much more of that plot. It was good as you had it, best left not too long.

As for Max, there is only one thing that I had an issue with, and it is very small. At times, he was very relatable, but at others, he seemed sort of more sarcastic and snotty. I know that he was supposed to get a boost in confidence, but I thought it an odd direction to take personality-wise. Of course, I am not saying this is an objective problem, it is not. Only an unusual way to do thing, I thought, and I was curious as to how else it could be done.

I hate to list so many things like this, though, and, of course, since you wanted improvement, I hope this helped. There were many things I would leave alone, also, as they were done very well, and quite perfectly for the film. The narration was surprisingly good narration. The twist was done better then, if I knew about it beforehand, I would have thought it could have been. The characters really, really were well done, and after the CS series, proved you had a nice hand in drama too.

Of course, this is only my first of many posts here, it is highly open to debate, objections and discussion. Maybe you could even change my mind about something, I hope I hear more views.

[Xplayadam]

If it was a joke, then it was a bad one.

[blg]

Calm down Xplay, lighten up a bit.

I'll respond to your post later Casa, as I have a few questions about it.

[Casablanca]

Okay, great, no problem.

As I said, I'd love to hear some questions, since maybe there is something I did wrong. Read a line the wrong way, or misunderstand the manner you were trying to take something.

[Hanelle]

One thing that I thought could be done a bit; was to give Emma more of a focus; particularly at the end. I did enjoy the very last scene, but I would have liked to see her get a little more of a redemption there; have her more looked into, then her simply passing off the few events prior because Max claims to be alright now. I do think she is a wonderful character, though, and probably my favorite.

I agree with this for the most part. I think the point of her character was that she was the mother figure. She was the only character who truly cared about Max. He was looking for it all along and it was right under his nose, so to speak. More would be good, but I'm not sure how much more you could enforce that idea. (Assuming that is the idea you were going for)

I really liked Helena/Max together. They were a good pair, and I think that diving more into their relationship could be good or bad, depending on how it was done. Thus, I am not going to state that as something I would like to see. I would like to see a bit more drama regarding Helena and her family; maybe have her somehow question her family life, in not so blatant a manner as she did when talking to Max. This can be shown, perhaps, with a scene where Max see’s (or spies on) Helena and her father talking.

My number one thing would be to see more Max/Helena. I thought their plotline was the best in the film and really would have liked to see more. As I said in my review, that would be tough to do, but if possible I think it could really make the script better.

The kidnapping subplot is one that caught me off guard. I do like it, as it gives Danny’s character a sense of purpose; but,. While what you have is good, I wouldn’t like to see much more of that plot. It was good as you had it, best left not too long.

I felt Danny's character already had the purpose of giving Max a need for redemption. To stand up for himself, as most bully characters do. I was fine with that. Even though I liked the scene involving Danny in the attic, and the suspense it brought, it was probably my least favorite section of the film.

Yeah, I don't mean to sound negative because the film was fantastic, but those were just some of the points that I thought could be improved.

[Xplayadam]

Sept 1, 2009 1:56:28 GMT -5 @blg said:

Calm down Xplay, lighten up a bit.

Do you have stuff like "Epic Movie" over there? And If so, is it popular? I'm hoping it's only Americans who like that stuff.

[Natalie]

Wtf Xplay? Either read Ufology and discuss the film in the appropriate thread or continue this unrelated conversation elsewhere.
It has nothing to do with this thread.

Yeah we get that film here.
It's shit.

[blg]

What the balls are you talking about @_@

Anyway, Casa, I agree that Emma should have more of a prescence in the second half, and any specific suggestions anyone has for that would be great, but I don't quite understand you saying that Emma needs redemption. It sort of implies that she has something she needs to make up for.

I always intended for Max to become too cocky, and I think the reason this isn't as pronounced is because of the way I wrote the first therapy scene, so I'll work on that. I wanted him to become a worse person and go back on his own values as a result of his hallucinations so that it was more meaningful when he rejected them.

I honestly don't remember having Helena admit that her beliefs were a load of crap, but I'm pissed off that I did, because having her explicitly say it was never my intention. However, I've thought of a scene that subtly shows feelings of resentment for her father and develops her relationship with Max, so I'll be killing two birds with one stone when I write that.

I'm also going to have Danny take a picture of Max after hebputs gum in his hair so it's more of a give and take thing there. I'm trying to think of a way to make the drawing less explicit - something Max does almost by accident, or at least innocently, that gets taken as a threat against Danny. Any ideas?

[Xplayadam]

Sorry. Question asked to BLG was entirely unrelated to any subject discussed here, was a question I have been meaning to ask for some time but only remembered it recently and wanted to ask before I forgot it. Also, it's hard to read a film if I never get my ticket for it which I ordered.

[Casablanca]

I suppose that Emma doesn’t really need to make up for anything, as be made up for by the film in giving her a bit of a talk scene with Max at the end, perhaps; maybe directly attached to the “want to take a walk?” ending. Maybe this can be a bit of reflection on their lives together and that they have bright things in the future. You did hint up to it slightly, but maybe getting into what Emma has really felt lately; since that would not only give them a good future, but also show her side of things more so then you did. It is a way of adding her in the whole story much with only one extended scene.

“I always intended for Max to become too cocky, and I think the reason this isn't as pronounced is because of the way I wrote the first therapy scene, so I'll work on that. I wanted him to become a worse person and go back on his own values as a result of his hallucinations so that it was more meaningful when he rejected them.”

I like how you explained this a lot, and I don’t want to sound like him becoming cocky is necessarily a bad thing, because it isn’t; maybe it is just that the transformation didn’t seem to glide at the right pace to make it fully believable. I do see what you mean by the first therapy scene is one scene that can help show what you intended; and also maybe add a bit to his talks with Helena, even if it is only a line, pushing the point even further. And maybe a scene where Emma blatantly blames the medicine for his cockiness; either that or the therapist sessions are making him rebel. Little things to make the connection seem reasonable.

You never really plain out said it, it just sometimes had the gist of that, I felt. Even if it wasn’t her saying she didn’t believe him, I think it does much more for the film to have her say that she doesn’t really “like” her father, subtly, then not believing him; perhaps even that she does not know if he is the right role model for her. It mirrors Max’s life a lot more like that.

As for the drawing being more of an accident, maybe it can be in a school yearbook. He can come across Danny’s picture and draw a noose around his head, or a gun aimed to it. It isn’t accidental, but it seems more innocent then drawing a whole picture. If you even want it more innocent, you could even probably make the drawing a stick, like a knife, going through Danny’s yearbook photo head.