Post by boust on Jul 1, 2008 12:14:06 GMT -5
Studio logo appears on screen.
Title: June 26th, 2008
David and Leigh are seen sitting on bean bag chairs in Dave’s basement. They are talking to each other while playing video games.
Leigh: You know; I’ve come up with a scientific theory.
David: Oh really? Care to elaborate?
Leigh: Okay, I will give you the virtual experience: you have to shit right?
David: Oh God, here we go…
Leigh: But you choose to hold it in for like 2 days. I have come to the conclusion that after 2 days, the shit stewing in your stomach…
David: Intestines, you mean?
Leigh: …yeah, will turn green.
Awkward silence.
David: And?
Leigh: That’s it.
David: That is one of the most retarded theories I’ve ever heard.
Title: July 10th, 2008
David and Leigh are seen racing through the streets on Downtown Toronto is a sports car. Leigh pops out of the sunroof and begins to shoot at cop cars behind him. Another scene is shown when Dave throws a henchman of the roof of a 50-story building.
All of a sudden, the whole trailer rewinds back to when David and Leigh finished their conversation on the bean bag chairs. A large truck smashes into the side of the house. Dave and Leigh hesitantly walk up to the truck and discover a suitcase inside that has lots of money inside.
Leigh: Holy fucking shit, that’s at least…. (thinks very hard)… 100 dollars!
Silence.
David: I think it s bit more than that! (roughly counts money) That’s at least, like, 1,000,000 fucking dollars!
Leigh: (excitedly) I think I just had an orgasm.
The song Welcome to the Jungle by Guns ‘n Roses begins.
Alden is seen sitting on a hospital bed while talking on his cell phone.
Alden: I slid a tracker in the suitcase. The receiver to the tracker is back at my house. I’ll pick it up after I get out of here.
Voice on Phone: Alright, call me back then.
Alden: Okay, bye. (shuts phone) I’m too old for this! Those two shitheads are fucking dead!
Scar and Legs are seen running down Dave’s street after crashing the truck.
Legs: HOLY FUCK! I CAN’T FUCKING HEAR SHIT! I MIGHT BE DEAF MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!
Scar: Relax.
Legs: WHAT?
Scar: (talking to himself) Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! The fucking money!
Legs: WHAT?
Scar: (whacks Legs in the head) The fucking money. Shit! Fuck! We’re so fucked!
Offficer Jim is seen at Dave and Leigh’s motel room with two other cops.
Jim: Alright, so Dave – you’ll die from an ‘accident on your chink trip’. Leigh, we’ll say that you shot at us and that we killed you in defense.
Leigh begins to whimper as Dave begins to think of a plan in his head.
Leigh: You fucking pig!
Dave: You’re a crooked cop! Fuck you!
Jim: Heh, I love my job.
Jim lifts his gun inline with Dave’s eye and puts stress on the trigger. Dave kicks Jim in the balls and grabs the gun and points it at Jim’s head.
Dave: Yeah! What now? I’m calling the shots here! Make one fucking move and this fucker gets his brains splattered all over the floor!
The other cops put their guns down and kneel with their hands behind their head on the floor.
Dave: Leigh, grab the money and let’s leave!
Dave and Leigh are seen racing a car down a country road.
Dave: Leigh, go check in the back for something we can shoot them with.
Leigh moves into the back seat and rummages around for a weapon.
The camera then pans through the back window of the squad car where you can see Scar and Legs driving their car in back of them.
Leigh then grabs a rocket launcher from the back of the car and moves up to the front seat.
Dave: What the fuck? Where did you get that from?
Leigh: Backseat.
Dave: Why the fuck would cops have a fucking rocket launcher in the fucking back seat of their car?
Leigh: Who gives a shit! One of these rockets can easily take out those cops for good. It’ll be clear sailing from there on!
Leigh proceeds to point the rocket launcher out the window of the car.
Dave: Do you even know how to use it?
Leigh: Relax, these are my video game skills being put to use.
Leigh carefully aims the rocket at the truck ahead of them. He activates but the rocket shoots in the opposite direction and blows up the car in back of them. Leigh pointed the launcher in the wrong direction. Leigh throws the launcher out of the car and turns back towards Dave.
Title: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.
Leigh and Dave are seen getting lap dances at a string club.
Leigh pulls the pins out of all the grenades and chucks them all at the truck at the same time. The grenades explode and make the truck do a flip and then crash into the ground upside down.
Title: BITCH.
Legs and Dave on seen in a hospital room.
Legs: What the fuck? Are you sure?
Dave: I’ve been taken advanced math for the last 4 years of my life. This is the most sure I’ll ever be in my life.
Dave runs and jumps out the window.
Title: Summer Rush.
Dave, Leigh, and Legs are all sleeping in a motel room. Legs puts a pistol down his pants so that Dave and Leigh can’t steal it. Noticing that he forgot to put the gun on safety, Legs reaches down his pants. A wide shot of the outside of the motel room shows a flash of white light in the window as a gunshot is heard.
Legs: FUCK! MY COCK!
Dave: Shit, sorry Legs!
Legs: MY COCK! TAKE ME TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL!
Leigh: You rigged the fucking door with explosives how are we supposed to get out?
Legs: It’s a fucking bar of soap nailed on you retard!
Legs: Pull the gun out of my pants!
Dave: Leigh, do it!
Leigh: I’m fucking trying the un-jam the soap from the door.
Dave: Shit.
Legs: Just do it kid!
Dave: You owe me big time. Both of you!
Dave reaches down Legs’ pants and pulls out the gun. The gun is covered in blood and a white liquid.
Dave: FUCK!
The music comes to an abrupt stop.
Title: 07.10.08
Title: June 26th, 2008
David and Leigh are seen sitting on bean bag chairs in Dave’s basement. They are talking to each other while playing video games.
Leigh: You know; I’ve come up with a scientific theory.
David: Oh really? Care to elaborate?
Leigh: Okay, I will give you the virtual experience: you have to shit right?
David: Oh God, here we go…
Leigh: But you choose to hold it in for like 2 days. I have come to the conclusion that after 2 days, the shit stewing in your stomach…
David: Intestines, you mean?
Leigh: …yeah, will turn green.
Awkward silence.
David: And?
Leigh: That’s it.
David: That is one of the most retarded theories I’ve ever heard.
Title: July 10th, 2008
David and Leigh are seen racing through the streets on Downtown Toronto is a sports car. Leigh pops out of the sunroof and begins to shoot at cop cars behind him. Another scene is shown when Dave throws a henchman of the roof of a 50-story building.
All of a sudden, the whole trailer rewinds back to when David and Leigh finished their conversation on the bean bag chairs. A large truck smashes into the side of the house. Dave and Leigh hesitantly walk up to the truck and discover a suitcase inside that has lots of money inside.
Leigh: Holy fucking shit, that’s at least…. (thinks very hard)… 100 dollars!
Silence.
David: I think it s bit more than that! (roughly counts money) That’s at least, like, 1,000,000 fucking dollars!
Leigh: (excitedly) I think I just had an orgasm.
The song Welcome to the Jungle by Guns ‘n Roses begins.
Alden is seen sitting on a hospital bed while talking on his cell phone.
Alden: I slid a tracker in the suitcase. The receiver to the tracker is back at my house. I’ll pick it up after I get out of here.
Voice on Phone: Alright, call me back then.
Alden: Okay, bye. (shuts phone) I’m too old for this! Those two shitheads are fucking dead!
Scar and Legs are seen running down Dave’s street after crashing the truck.
Legs: HOLY FUCK! I CAN’T FUCKING HEAR SHIT! I MIGHT BE DEAF MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!
Scar: Relax.
Legs: WHAT?
Scar: (talking to himself) Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! The fucking money!
Legs: WHAT?
Scar: (whacks Legs in the head) The fucking money. Shit! Fuck! We’re so fucked!
Offficer Jim is seen at Dave and Leigh’s motel room with two other cops.
Jim: Alright, so Dave – you’ll die from an ‘accident on your chink trip’. Leigh, we’ll say that you shot at us and that we killed you in defense.
Leigh begins to whimper as Dave begins to think of a plan in his head.
Leigh: You fucking pig!
Dave: You’re a crooked cop! Fuck you!
Jim: Heh, I love my job.
Jim lifts his gun inline with Dave’s eye and puts stress on the trigger. Dave kicks Jim in the balls and grabs the gun and points it at Jim’s head.
Dave: Yeah! What now? I’m calling the shots here! Make one fucking move and this fucker gets his brains splattered all over the floor!
The other cops put their guns down and kneel with their hands behind their head on the floor.
Dave: Leigh, grab the money and let’s leave!
Dave and Leigh are seen racing a car down a country road.
Dave: Leigh, go check in the back for something we can shoot them with.
Leigh moves into the back seat and rummages around for a weapon.
The camera then pans through the back window of the squad car where you can see Scar and Legs driving their car in back of them.
Leigh then grabs a rocket launcher from the back of the car and moves up to the front seat.
Dave: What the fuck? Where did you get that from?
Leigh: Backseat.
Dave: Why the fuck would cops have a fucking rocket launcher in the fucking back seat of their car?
Leigh: Who gives a shit! One of these rockets can easily take out those cops for good. It’ll be clear sailing from there on!
Leigh proceeds to point the rocket launcher out the window of the car.
Dave: Do you even know how to use it?
Leigh: Relax, these are my video game skills being put to use.
Leigh carefully aims the rocket at the truck ahead of them. He activates but the rocket shoots in the opposite direction and blows up the car in back of them. Leigh pointed the launcher in the wrong direction. Leigh throws the launcher out of the car and turns back towards Dave.
Title: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE.
Leigh and Dave are seen getting lap dances at a string club.
Leigh pulls the pins out of all the grenades and chucks them all at the truck at the same time. The grenades explode and make the truck do a flip and then crash into the ground upside down.
Title: BITCH.
Legs and Dave on seen in a hospital room.
Legs: What the fuck? Are you sure?
Dave: I’ve been taken advanced math for the last 4 years of my life. This is the most sure I’ll ever be in my life.
Dave runs and jumps out the window.
Title: Summer Rush.
Dave, Leigh, and Legs are all sleeping in a motel room. Legs puts a pistol down his pants so that Dave and Leigh can’t steal it. Noticing that he forgot to put the gun on safety, Legs reaches down his pants. A wide shot of the outside of the motel room shows a flash of white light in the window as a gunshot is heard.
Legs: FUCK! MY COCK!
Dave: Shit, sorry Legs!
Legs: MY COCK! TAKE ME TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL!
Leigh: You rigged the fucking door with explosives how are we supposed to get out?
Legs: It’s a fucking bar of soap nailed on you retard!
Legs: Pull the gun out of my pants!
Dave: Leigh, do it!
Leigh: I’m fucking trying the un-jam the soap from the door.
Dave: Shit.
Legs: Just do it kid!
Dave: You owe me big time. Both of you!
Dave reaches down Legs’ pants and pulls out the gun. The gun is covered in blood and a white liquid.
Dave: FUCK!
The music comes to an abrupt stop.
Title: 07.10.08
