Post by Joey Jojo Junior Shabadoo on Aug 2, 2008 22:04:03 GMT -5
A long time ago, in front of a theater far,
far away...
far away...
EXT. OUTER SPACE - NIGHT
The camera pans under gigantic spaceship, continuing further to move past another ship which dwarfs the first. The camera keeps moving when the backdrop of space suddenly ends and is replaced with an off-white color. We then zoom out...
INT. GARY'S BEDROOM - MORN
...revealing that the previous setting was no more than model spaceships in front of a poster from Attack of the Clones. We move around the room which is covered in Star Wars memorabilia. In front of a tv where The Empire Strikes Back plays, GARY sleeps on a fold out couch. The camera continues to move and stops at the door, which is suddenly thrust open revealing BEN wearing a bad Stormtrooper costume. Gary jumps out of bed.
GARY
Little short for a Stormtrooper aren't you?
BEN
What? Oh, the costume.
Ben takes off his helmet.
BEN
I'm Ben. I'm here to rescue you!
GARY
Rescue me?
BEN
We can see Episode III tomorrow! Get up!
Little short for a Stormtrooper aren't you?
BEN
What? Oh, the costume.
Ben takes off his helmet.
BEN
I'm Ben. I'm here to rescue you!
GARY
Rescue me?
BEN
We can see Episode III tomorrow! Get up!
EXT. THEATER - MORN.
Gary and Ben stand in line next to a kid dressed as Yoda, ZACK, who is dressed as a Jedi, and a guy playing a PSP.
GARY
Ben, now would you tell me what the hell is going on?
BEN
About an hour ago news broke on the internet that the first five people in line at 8:00am tomorrow would get tickets to advance screenings of Revenge of the Sith for tomorrow at noon.
Ben, now would you tell me what the hell is going on?
BEN
About an hour ago news broke on the internet that the first five people in line at 8:00am tomorrow would get tickets to advance screenings of Revenge of the Sith for tomorrow at noon.
EXT. THEATER - LATER
MIRANDA, in a uniform emblazened with the theater's logo, talks to the customers.
MIRANDA
I tried to get the boss to give me the day off so I could get in line but he’s a total ass.
ZACK
I’m in love! I haven’t felt this way since I saw the trailer for Episode I! This must be how C-3PO felt the first time he saw R2-D2!
I tried to get the boss to give me the day off so I could get in line but he’s a total ass.
ZACK
I’m in love! I haven’t felt this way since I saw the trailer for Episode I! This must be how C-3PO felt the first time he saw R2-D2!
EXT. THEATER - AFTERNOON
ROD, in a black hooded robe, confronts the fans in line.
ROD
My superiors are giving me unimaginable bounties for every ticket I bring to them. If you were not such blind fanboys you would realize the futility of your actions and join me.
My superiors are giving me unimaginable bounties for every ticket I bring to them. If you were not such blind fanboys you would realize the futility of your actions and join me.
EXT. THEATER - LATER
Ben, now dressed as a Jedi, argues with Gary.
GARY
Is this really what you thought your life would be like? I used to be cool until I started hanging out with you!
BEN
What? You want to be some sort of jock?
GARY
If you’re not with me, then you are my enemy.
BEN
Only a Sith deals in absolutes. (Draws Lightsaber) I will do what I must.
GARY
You will try.
Is this really what you thought your life would be like? I used to be cool until I started hanging out with you!
BEN
What? You want to be some sort of jock?
GARY
If you’re not with me, then you are my enemy.
BEN
Only a Sith deals in absolutes. (Draws Lightsaber) I will do what I must.
GARY
You will try.
Gary runs towards Ben with his Lightsaber. Ben jumps out of his chair unsheathing his own Lightsaber and a battle ensues.
BEN
I have failed you Gary. I have failed you.
GARY
I should’ve known you would turn against me!
BEN
Gary, you’re being an ass!
GARY
From my point of view you’re being an ass!
BEN
Well then you are lost!
I have failed you Gary. I have failed you.
GARY
I should’ve known you would turn against me!
BEN
Gary, you’re being an ass!
GARY
From my point of view you’re being an ass!
BEN
Well then you are lost!
EXT. THEATER - NIGHT
Gary, now in a poorly made Darth Vader costume, but still his voice, once again fights Ben.
GARY
The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master.
BEN
Only a master of evil Garth.
The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master.
BEN
Only a master of evil Garth.
BLACK BACKGROUND
Superimpose:
NERD WARS
COMING SOON TO A GALAXY NEAR YOU.
COMING SOON TO A GALAXY NEAR YOU.
