BLACK SCREEN
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DISCLAIMER: P.S. WE LOVE JEWS
TITLE: TRIBAL FISH PRODUCTIONS PRESENT
TITLE: A DAZ MURREL FILM
TITLE: BY DAZ MURRELL AND CIA HOUSE
TITLE: THE 18TH ROAD
FADE IN:
INT. DAZ’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
DAZ; a young male with glasses and a peaked beanie hat,
sitting askew atop his head sits at a desktop computer. He
yawns as he types away at the keyboard.
ANGLE ON:
The computer screen.
Daz is typing in an Instant Message conversation. The
conversation is filled with his name and font, but there has
been no reply from the recipient.
Daz types; "CIA, ARE YOU THERE?"
Daz lifts a headset from his desk and records a message.
DAZ
Are you there man?
INT. CIA’S BEDROOM
A chubby young male is in a deep sleep, on a side table he
has one birthday card, from the looks of things it’s from
his mother.
The young male is CIA. Next to him is an attractive female,
almost too attractive for Cia by conventional standards. She
sits up and stares at the computer.
DAZ (O.S)
Where are you Cia?
The girl nudges Cia, he does not wake.
FEMALE
Cia ... Cia ... the computer’s
talking.
Cia mumbles something.
CIA
(Under breath)
Fuck off mum.
FEMALE
What?
CIA
I said fuck off mum --
FEMALE
Mum? It’s Jessica -- I’m Jessica.
Daz’ voice comes through the speakers of Cia’s iMac
Computer.
DAZ (O.S)
Cia?
Cia groans. He slowly and sleepily gets off his bed and
walks towards the computer. He switches on the screen to
find the messages from Daz.
He groans, and picks up a nearby headset.
DAZ (O.S)
Cia? Where are you?
CIA
I’m here.
INTERCUT BETWEEN DAZ AND CIA
DAZ
About bloody time.
CIA
Why? How long have you been
waiting?
DAZ
Um ... not long.
CIA
Makes a change.
DAZ
Shut up.
CIA
Well I suppose it’s not as if you
have anything better to do. You
know, besides write crappy X-Men
spin-offs.
DAZ
One; there’s nothing wrong with
X-Men and two; what the fuck have
you been doing for the last couple
of hours?
CIA
I think her name was Jessica.
DAZ
You think?
CIA
I didn’t take a fucking register.
DAZ
Register? She was probably young
enough to need one. Besides, the
way you get around you’d need a
bloody census.
CIA
Har-de-fucking-har. What is it you
wanted to tell me so bad that it
couldn’t wait until the morning?
DAZ
Well I have insomnia so this is
morning for me. And I wanted to be
the first to wish you a happy
birthday.
CIA
Sorry to tell you this, but you
wouldn’t be the first, or the
second.
Cia looks over his shoulder as a brunette woman pulls
herself off the floor and onto his bed.
DAZ
I’m third!
CIA
Well technically you’re fourth. If
you count the birthday gift I gave
myself.
DAZ
Well this fucking sucks. I wasted
all that time, hours of my life.
CIA
You would have been doing that
anyway.
DAZ
-- You’re probably right.
CIA
I’m always right, except all those
times I’m horribly wrong. You
remember that Kebab the other
night? That was a bad decision.
Anyway man I’m going back to bed.
DAZ
But not to sleep I presume.
CIA
Of course to sleep, my pork sword
has been deep fried in fanny batter
all night; Good meat needs rest to
get the best flavour an all that.
DAZ
Who’d you hear that from, Gordon
Ramsay?
CIA
Yes actually.
DAZ
That’s messed up in all kinds of
ways --
CIA
No, it’d be messed up if I heard it
from Delia Smith. And on that note
-- Good night’eth Dazwell.
Cia smiles and gets up from his chair. He falls onto the
bed.
DAZ
Wait -- Cia? Bastard.
CUT TO:
INT. DVD STORE – DAY
Daz looks through every single shelf, looking at every
single DVD the shop seemingly has to offer.
CIA
Are you writing, directing and
producing that shit? Hurry the fuck
up!
DAZ
If only you were as careful
choosing woman as I am choosing
movies.
CIA
Difference is, I actually take
women home occasionally. You’re
still window shopping. How long has
it been since Wheelchair bitch?
DAZ
It wasn’t that long ago.
CIA
Try four years.
DAZ
You’re not one to talk man, you’ve
pined over wanks longer than that.
CIA
(Sarcastically)
I like to make a connection! Just
because I don’t like to pop one out
into a tissue and forget all about
the experience doesn’t make me a
bad person Darren.
Daz shoves Cia.
CIA (CONT’D)
Seriously man, you better hurry
this up because Sarah Connor
Chronicles starts in half an hour.
DAZ
Just go look at the magazines.
CIA
Fine.
Cia walks away as Daz continues to look through the DVD’s.
ANGLE ON:
Cia who picks an adult magazine from the top of the shelf.
He begins thumbing through it. An old couple pass by. They
look at Cia disapprovingly.
CIA (CONT’D)
At least I can get it up granddad.
The old couple shoot Cia a shocked glance. They push past
Daz who makes his way towards Cia, DVD in hand.
CIA (CONT’D)
(under breath)
Fascists.
DAZ
What’s your problem?
CIA
Just the geriatric club over there.
Looking at me like that because I
appreciate the beauty of women and
their meaning in --
(Looks at magazine)
Wow, look at the coconuts on her.
Cia’s comments attracts the attention of several nearby
customers who are less than amused. Daz looks totally
embarrassed.
DAZ
How about you try and keep your
voice down.
CIA
Why? If I were looking at some gory
DVD cover they’d be fine with it.
Would they say "Oh look at all that
blood, You’re wrong for looking at
that young man!" Of course they
fucking wouldn’t, that’s normal.
But if I want to look at a naked
woman, something we learn about in
school --
DAZ
Only this is a little more than an
educational interest.
CIA
But still, it’s ridiculous.
Censorship is so fucked up.
DAZ
You ever considered you’re the
fucked up one? I mean you do have
some morbid fetish about wanting to
kick a baby--
CIA
-- Into a crowd! I’m sure they’d
catch it. What if Madonna was in
that crowd and the baby just
happened to be African? She’d catch
it, take it home and raise it as
the next queen of pop -- regardless
of gender. In fact I bet she’d give
us a million bucks just for the
chance to catch that thing.
DAZ
So would Michael Jackson. It still
doesn’t make it a good idea.
CIA
Anyways. I’m gonna pay for these.
DAZ
You’re buying them?
CIA
Yeah -- I’m eighteen now right? Why
shouldn’t I?
Cia walks towards the counter and Daz apprehensively
follows. Cia takes the DVD from Daz and places it, along
with several adult magazines on the counter, THE WORKER
takes them and rings them up.
WORKER
That’ll be £44.97
CIA
For a DVD and some magazines?
WORKER
Yes, sir.
CIA
What the fuck?
Daz looks extremely embarrassed as people notice the high
tone of Cia’s voice.
CIA (CONT’D)
Do we look Jewish? We’re not made
of money. You a Nazi lover or
something?
DAZ
What my friend means--
CIA
What I mean is this is a bigger
farce than George Bush’s
presidential campaign. Come on man,
can’t you cut us some slack here?
You know throw us the "staff"
discount or something?
WORKER
I’m sorry sir, that’s the price --
and I am not a Nazi Lover. And I
see no reason to bring the Jewish
people into this.
CIA
Fuck.
Daz rummages through his pocket.
DAZ
Look let’s just pay and go --
here...
He goes to hand the money over.
CIA
No. I want to see your superior.
DAZ
We don’t need to see you
superior...
CIA
I want to see your superior.
WORKER
And I want to see your ID.
DAZ
His ID? Why?
WORKER
Well the gentleman -- and I use
that term loosely is purchasing a
product with an age restriction.
And this childish outburst is
making me question his age.
CIA
Hey, I’m not purchasing shit! And
who are you calling childish?
A man in a suit, obviously the MANAGER appears behind the
counter.
MANAGER
Is there a problem gentleman?
CIA
Yeah, there’s a problem. Fag-eye
here just insulted me and my
friend.
WORKER
No I didn’t, I gave them the price
of the items they wish to purchase
-- prices that are clearly labeled
on the products -- and he flipped
out. He even insulted the Jews,
which was highly unnecessary.
MANAGER
I think he was implying that Jewish
people are shrewd businessmen and
therefore have a lot of money.
Which would be relevant to this
"money" issue albeit completely
stereotypical. But that’s not
really the point -- Can I see the
products these two young lads were
trying to purchase?
The worker slides the DVD and magazines to the manager. The
manager lifts one of the adult magazines off the counter and
looks at Cia.
MANAGER
Does your mother know you’re trying
to buy this?
CIA
Does your mother know you work at a
second rate, non-branded video
shop?
DAZ
Come on man, let’s just go.
CIA
No -- I’m not going anywhere.
MANAGER
I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask
you to leave.
DAZ
We’re going.
CIA
I’m not going anywhere.
DAZ
Here.
Daz hands over some money and takes the DVD from the
counter. The Worker tries to hand over a receipt but Daz is
to busy trying to steer Cia away. Cia puts up a fight.
DAZ (CONT’D)
Come on Cia.
CIA
Fuck you motherfuckers! You money
grabbing Nazi Cu--
Daz covers Cia’s mouth as the customers nearby look
disgusted.
DAZ
I’m sorry, he’s -- retarded.
ANGLE ON:
Manager and The Worker.
MANAGER
That explains a lot.
Daz manages to force Cia out of the DVD Shop.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOPPING MALL – DAY
Daz releases Cia’s mouth.
CIA
(loudly)
What the fuck man?!?!
People stop and stare at the commotion.
DAZ
Hey, quiet down.
CIA
Why, I don’t care about these
people.
DAZ
Yeah, but you don’t have to let
everyone and their bloody mother
know that.
CIA
Why? Fuck em’
DAZ
Look, will you just calm down.
CIA
Why the fuck should I calm down.
That dick called me childish and
tried to imply I don’t like Jews.
DAZ
(Placating Cia)
You love Jews. I love Jews. Nothing
wrong with a good Jew. I know that,
you know that and that guy in there
is an idiot. So just calm down.
CIA
Fine! Let’s go get a pretzel.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOPPING MALL, PRETZEL STAND
Daz and Cia are handed a Pretzel each and a couple of sodas
by the PRETZEL WORKER.
PRETZEL WORKER
That’ll be £10.50
Cia opens his mouth, as if he’s going to complain about the
price again.
Daz shoots him a look as if to say "Don’t even think about
it."
DAZ
(handing over the money)
Here you go.
Daz and Cia walk away.
CUT TO:
INT. SHOPPING MALL, FOOD COURT – DAY
Daz and Cia sit at a table eating their pretzels.
CIA
I can’t believe he wanted to check
my fucking ID; should have pulled
my trousers down. "Is my bush ID
enough motherfucker?" - people
these days. It’s not as if I look
12 -- like you.
DAZ
Hey, I don’t look 12. I got into
that strip club once.
CIA
Yeah, and you sat in the corner
trying to hide your damn boner.
DAZ
I did not, I just didn’t want that
stripper to see me.
CIA
For the last fucking time, we did
not go to school with her.
DAZ
Yes we did, she knows my brother.
CIA
Look -- it’s about time I got you
out of the comic books and into the
real word man. We need to do
something special -- I mean you’ve
been eighteen for how long? And
you’ve done nothing. I was eighteen
for 12 minutes and I got laid.
DAZ
Yeah, but I’m not like you.
CIA
Thank god.
DAZ
Look, it’s not as if I haven’t
tried. I just want to find the
right girl, you know?
CIA
No I don’t know. Any girl is the
right girl as far as I’m concerned.
As long as there’s grass on the
field --
DAZ
You’ll play it, I know.
CIA
We got to do something man, we got
to do something completely out of
this world. Completely fucking
insane. We got to commemorate the
day I came --
Daz looks at him slightly disturbed.
CIA (CONT’D)
-- of age. We got to do something
about your problem, we got to find
the right girl for the Daz-Man. We
got to find any girl, or you know
’girls’ for me and we gotta
celebrate this landmark moment --
achievement if you will --
DAZ
It is a bloody achievement, the way
you drink I was surprised you made
it to fifteen.
CIA
Like I was saying, we have to
celebrate this milestone in true
Cia/Daz style; and no I don’t mean
sitting on the internet bitching
about this world we live in.
DAZ
What are you thinking?
CIA
I’m thinking, party.
DAZ
You know what my mums like with
parties. Last time you made me
throw a party I spent three days
scrubbing vomit out of the carpet.
My mum nearly killed me.
CIA
Your mums the fucking devil, she’s
like that with everything. No
wonder your dad does nothing but
read the paper and pretend the
bitch is out of the room.
DAZ
That’s my mum man
CIA
I know... I’m very sorry for you.
DAZ
(under breath)
Dick.
CIA
Road-trip then?
DAZ
Road trip? Are you fucking kidding
me. Where are we going to take a
road trip too? Cardiff? I’m not
paying to get into Wales again, but
I’ll tell you what. I’d pay double
to get out.
CIA
You hatred for the Welsh knows no
bounds. But seriously man-- just
hear me out.
Before Cia continues, a young male of Indian descent
approaches the pair. The young man is SWAP.
SWAP
BOOM.
CIA
Swappie!
DAZ
Swap.
Swap sits at the table, next to Cia. He takes Daz’s pretzel
and starts eating it. Daz looks pissed but says nothing.
CIA
So I think we should go on a
road-trip to celebrate my ’cumming’
of age but Mr. "My mummy knows
best" seems to think we won’t get
anywhere with it.
DAZ
I just don’t know how we’d
accomplish it, we don’t even have a
car.
CIA
We can borrow my dad’s.
DAZ
Your dad’s? He’ll kill you
CIA
He’ll probably be too busy looking
at porn and thinking I don’t know
about it to care what the fuck we
do.
SWAP
Sounds about right. So where we off
too?
DAZ
We? I haven’t even agreed to go
yet.
CIA
Hey "Mr sheltered lifestyle" grow
up! I’m sure you can tear yourself
away from freaking Gambit and
Wolverine for a few days.
DAZ
Yeah, but what about Psylocke and
Rogue?
SWAP
Fuck Psycock, they’re freaking
cartoons! What are you, Japanese?
CIA
Shut up the pair of you -- and in
all fairness to Daz, Kim Possible
is one fine of piece of 2D ass.
SWAP
Is that that show with the teenage
mission impossible chick?
CIA
Yeah --
SWAP
Her and that green bitch are so
freaking lesbionic it’s not even
funny.
CIA
Hell yes.
Swap and Cia high five one another.
CIA (CONT’D)
Back to this road trip.
DAZ
(Agitated)
What road trip? It’s an idea, we
don’t have the money or the means
to go on a road trip.
SWAP
What is it with you and logistics.
We’ll figure something out.
DAZ
I’m surprised you even know the
word logistics, was it on your word
of the day calendar?
SWAP
No, but I’ll tell you who was on my
calendar --
DAZ
If this is another "Your mother"
joke. Quit it, they stopped being
funny five years ago.
CIA
"Your Mother" jokes will never get
old, "Epic Fail" on the other hand--
SWAP
Amen to that.
CIA
And as far as the log... log;
whatever the fuck you said are
concerned. Leave it to me.
DAZ
Last time I left something to you
-- well it’s better left unsaid.
CUT TO:
INT. CIA’S HOUSE, KITCHEN – DAY
Cia is standing in his kitchen, a tall dark haired woman is
cooking at the oven. It’s CIA’s MOTHER.
CIA
(speaking to his mother)
So erm, Daz has roped me into going
on this road-trip thing; you cool
with that?
CIA’S MOTHER
Does Dale’s mum know about this?
CIA
Yeah, she said Daz should arrange
it because he passed some test at
college or something.
CIA’S MOTHER
I’m not sure Ciarán.
CIA
Mum it’s ’Cia’ now.
CIA’S MOTHER
I put "Ciarán" on your birth
certificate so that’s the name I’m
going to be using.
CIA
Yeah, whatever; so can I have like
five-hundred pounds?
CIA’S MOTHER
For what?
CIA
You know, food... the essentials.
CIA’S MOTHER
I’m not giving you money so you and
Dale can go around spending it on
crap.
CIA
Mum!
CIA’S MOTHER
No.
Cia looks pissed, he leaves the room in a dramatic state.
His mother looks on bemused.
CIA’S MOTHER
Sometimes that boy is such a queen.
CUT TO:
INT. CIA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Cia is sitting in front of his iMac, he has a microphone
headset on and is speaking to somebody.
REVEAL:
Daz on the computer screen, he and Cia are engaging in a
video chat.
CIA
You’re going to regret it if you
don’t come with us. Honestly; would
you rather spend your days online,
researching French phrases for that
damn Gambit screenplay. Or spend
them in a car listening to great
music and talking about
every-fucking-thing with friends.
DAZ
I dunno man... It just seems so far
fetched at the moment.
CIA
If you write off every idea as far
fetched then we’re never going to
get anywhere in life. Why are we
never doing the things we want to
do? It’s fucking re--
DAZ
I do the things I want to do--
CIA
Name one fucking thing you’ve done
in the last year you’ve dreamed of
doing. Normal shit doesn’t count.
DAZ
I erm... I wrote my Gam--
CIA
Nobody cares about your fucking
Gambit screenplay.
Cia’s computer begins to BEEP.
CIA (CONT’D)
Hold on a sec.
Cia clicks the mouse and a second video chat pops up. Swap
is on the other side of it.
SWAP
So, what did your mum say?
CIA
She said no.
SWAP
So, when are we leaving?
DAZ (O.S)
Didn’t you hear him, his mum said
"No!"
SWAP
Shut up arse bandit. Like anyone
listens to their mother. If we did
we’d all be living in Daz-Land in a
bubble at home with our parents,
looking at animated X-Men porn all
day.
DAZ (O.S)
These X-Men jokes are getting real
old.
CIA
And so is the jizz moulding in that
sock you keep by your bed. Like I
was about to say, we’re leaving
tonight.
DAZ (O.S)
Tonight? but you’re mum said no.
CIA
But her eyes said yes. I’m sure
you’re familiar with that and all ,
seeing as you’re from Norfolk.
DAZ (O.S)
Yeah, I’m from Norfolk, where we
all live on farms and fuck our
relatives.
SWAP
Glad you had the stones to finally
admit it. I’ll see you later Cia,
we’ll call you from the road Daz.
We’ll send a postcard and bring
back a T-shirt or something. Maybe
a stick of rock.
DAZ (O.S)
Hey, I said his mum said no. I
didn’t say I wasn’t coming.
CIA
About friggin’ time. I’ll pick you
up at 10:00 Swap, Daz I’ll see you
and your X-Men blanket at quarter
past.
DAZ (O.S)
Don’t be late.
CIA
I’m never late.
SWAP
He’s usually early.
Swap and Cia laugh at the premature ejaculation joke.
DAZ (O.S)
Wait, what? What’s funny?
CUT TO:
INT. CIA’S PARENTS BEDROOM – NIGHT
Cia sneaks into his parents’ bedroom, snoring can be heard
from his father. He sneaks quietly around the room and on
several occasions nearly wakes them up; eventually though he
is able to take his father’s wallet and keys from a dressing
stand. Cia makes his way out of the room
CUT TO:
EXT. CIA’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Cia is walking down towards his father’s car with a big
duffel bag; presumably full of clothes. He hums the Mission
Impossible theme as he takes out his mobile phone
CIA
Yeah Swap it’s me, I’ll be with you
in like 10 minutes; make sure
you’re decent.
CUT TO:
I/E. CIA’S DAD’S CAR / OUTSIDE SWAP’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Cia pulls up to Swaps house, he is standing on the lawn with
an unidentified blonde, JENNIFER. Cia rolls down his window
as the car comes to a smooth stop.
CIA
What the fuck man?
SWAP
Don’t worry, she’s cool
CIA
It was supposed to be a guy thing,
unless she has a dick under that
fucking faux leather I don’t think
she counts as one of us.
SWAP
She’s had enough dick in her to
count, just get over it.
Swap and Jennifer enter the car.
INT. CIA’S DAD’S CAR – NIGHT
Cia hands Swap his phone.
CIA
Ring the fag, tell him we’re on the
way.
JENNIFER
So is that all you do, make gay
jokes?
CIA
I’m also pretty good at handling a
gear stick.
Cia smirks at her as he puts the car into gear.
EXT. OUTSIDE DAZ’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Daz rocks back and forth on his heels, next to him is a
small suitcase with wheels and a handle. He also has a
Laptop bag.
He has several books with him, noticeable is a giant volume
of Lord of the Rings. A car radio can be heard. It gets
louder as the car pulls into view. It stops in front of Daz.
In the backseat of the car Swap and Jennifer make out. Cia
rolls down his window to speak to Daz.
DAZ
Turn the radio down, I don’t want
my parents to wake up.
CIA
Why not?
DAZ
Because I didn’t exactly tell them
where I was going.
Cia looks at him in amazement, Swap breaks his lip lock with
Jennifer to look at Daz bemused.
SWAP
You what? Is Weapon X finally
growing up?
DAZ
Hey, I’m quite capable of standing
up to my parents any time I want --
CIA
Can it you two. I’ve had enough of
your bickering for one day. Daz,
just hand me your bag and let’s get
going.
Daz passes his suitcase to Cia through the window. Cia, with
a struggle places it on the seat next to him.
CIA (CONT’D)
Jesus this thing weighs a tone.
What have you got in here?
DAZ
Clothes, toothbrush, mouthwash ...
dental floss, nail clippers, nail
file, hair brush, hair spray --
JENNIFER
A man after my own heart.
Swap shoots her a look of discontent.
DAZ
-- lens cleaner for my glasses,
deodorant, moisturizer for this dry
spot on my arm.
SWAP
I guess we won’t be making a pit
stop at Boots then.
Swap and Jennifer chuckle. Cia rolls his eyes.
CIA
You pack like a fag, which would
probably be a good thing if you
were into dogging.
JENNIFER
You must pack pretty well to then.
DAZ
I don’t get it.
SWAP
You wouldn’t.
CIA
Swap, could you tell your vagina to
ask permission before she thinks?
Thanks. I knew I should have bought
my portable kitchen. As for you --
(Looks at Daz)
We’ve got to get you some
essentials.
Cia gets out of the car and the pair head towards Daz’s
house. Swap throws Daz’s suitcase out of the window, along
with his copy of The Lord of the Rings.
CUT TO:
INT. DAZ’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Daz stands helpless as Cia riffles through his things
looking for essentials. He pulls clothes from Daz’s drawers
and throw them to the floor in disgust.
Finally Cia goes through the unit next to Daz’s bed. He
pulls out the first draw and looks at Daz disapprovingly.
Cia holds up several X-men comic books.
CIA
Wanking material I presume.
Cia throws the comic books down and goes back to his search
of the draw --
CIA (CONT’D)
Wait a minute, D-Man.
Cia pulls a pack of condoms from Daz’s draw.
CIA (CONT’D)
What the fuck do you have these
for? Shortage of socks or
something?
DAZ
We got them in Mrs. Whitton’s
Health Ed class at the end of the
year.
CIA
At least we’ve found the
essentials.
DAZ
You have got to be kidding me.
CIA
I never kid Daz. I’m like Osama Bin
Laden doing one of his "America
sucks" videos, brutally honest.
Cia , with condoms in hand makes his way out of the room.
Daz follows.
INT. DAZ’S HOUSE, HALLWAY – NIGHT
Cia and Daz walk down the hallway towards the stairs when a
door opens. Daz’s sister STACEY walks out.
STACEY
Where are you going?
DAZ
Just going with Cia, on a little
trip.
STACEY
To where?
DAZ
Um ... nowhere really. That is to
say we haven’t actually decided
yet.
CIA
Look, let’s cut to the chase. I
will give you a packet of Mrs.
Whitton’s finest ... ribbed ... for
your satisfaction, if you keep your
mouth shut -- for a change.
STACEY
Well your deal only appeals to me
on the assumption that I’m sexually
active.
CIA
A monkey could tell you’re sexually
active, do you want the rubbers or
not?
She snatches them from Cia’s hand.
DAZ
Thanks. Encourage my little
sister --
CIA
She needs no encouraging.
Cia and Daz head to the staircase. Cia stops to say ...
CIA (CONT’D)
Have fun with the neighbor.
STACEY
Fuck you!
CIA
Why not? You’ve already fucked
everybody else I know. Tell Kyle I
say hello.
EXT. OUTSIDE DAZ’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Daz and Cia walk out of the front door, Daz pauses to lock
the it. They head to Cia’s Dad’s car and both get in; Cia in
the front, Daz in the back next to Jennifer and Swap.
CIA
Let’s get fucking going.
CUT TO:
INT. DAZ’S HOUSE, KITCHEN – MORNING
Daz’ parents are sitting at a round kitchen table, they’re
both reading publications and sipping coffee periodically.
Stacey enters the room, dressed in a school uniform.
DAZ’S MUM
Stacey, go and tell your brother to
come down for breakfast please.
STACEY
I would if he was here.
DAZ’S MUM
Has he left for college already?
Stacey pauses for a minute, contemplating the answer.
STACEY
That Cia boy came over last night
driving his dad’s car, Daz and a
suitcase went off with him.
Daz’s Dad lowers his newspaper.
DAZ’S DAD + DAZ’S MUM
What?
CUT TO:
INT. DAZ’S HOUSE, STACEY’S ROOM – MORNING
Stacey is seen sitting on her bed, a mobile phone in her
hand.
CUT TO:
INT. CIA’S DADS CAR – MORNING
Daz is now driving the car as Cia sleeps in the passenger
seat, Swap and Jennifer are in the back.
Cia’s mobile phone lets off a sound indicating he has
received a text. Cia moves around a bit before waking up and
reaching for it.
CIA
"Mum knows, sorry it slipped out -
Stacey"
DAZ
What? My mum knows what’s
happening?
CIA
Well she was going to find out
eventually you fucking idiot, did
you really think not telling her
would work? "Oh, Daz isn’t here
today; must be with Madeline McCann
again!" I mean for fuck sake.
DAZ
We need to stop the car.
CIA
We’re not stopping the car.
DAZ
I’m stopping the car.
SWAP
What the fuck for?
DAZ
I need to call my mum.
CIA
Call her on my mobile.
DAZ
I can’t, if I use your phone she’ll
think it’s you and put my Dad on,
he’ll have a go at you and you’ll
cry again.
CIA
We were six you dick, the bastard
shouted at me for taking a slice of
cake early; so the fuck what if
it’s your party.
DAZ
Besides, it’s illegal to talk on a
mobile phone and drive at the same
time.
Cia groans.
CIA
Fine -- pull over.
Daz pulls the car into a lay-by.
EXT. LAY-BY – DAY
Jennifer and Daz get out of the car. Jennifer stretches her
legs as Daz takes several steps away trying to get some
privacy.
DAZ
(Holding Phone to ear)
Mum?
DAZ’S MUM (O.S)
What the hell do you think you were
doing, going off in the middle of
the night like that. You could have
at least left a note, what were you
going to do, send us a bloody
postcard? Did you even stop for a
second to consider what you were
doing, how your family would feel
when they woke up to see you
weren’t there?
DAZ
I -- No -- I didn’t. But it all
happened so fast, and Cia said.
DAZ’S MUM (O.S)
Cia said, Cia said so you had to
do. He’s not bloody Simon!
Daz’s mum rants incoherently as Daz holds the phone away
from his ear. Cia sticks his out of the window.
CIA
Hurry up, or are you to busy
sucking Gandalf’s dick?
Daz looks at Cia and nods towards the phone as if to say
"Shut up, I’m on the phone"
DAZ
Look mum, the reception is really
bad here so I’ll call you back
later.
Daz ends the call and makes his way back to the car. He
hands the phone to Cia who has gotten out to stretch his
legs. He takes the phone and throws it away, it lands in a
nearby lake.
DAZ
Why did you do that?
CIA
This is supposed to be a fun
weekend, no more calls from mummy.
Now let’s get going.
DAZ
Where too?
CIA
Wherever, just make sure they have
some food.
EXT. MOTORWAY – DAY
Cia, Daz, Swap and Jennifer drive along the motorway.
INT. CIA’S DAD’S CAR – NIGHT
Jennifer is asleep in the back, Swap and Cia sing
"Milkshake" by Kelis. Daz looks into the Car’s mirror and
sees Jennifer stirring.
DAZ
Hey guys, don’t you think you
should quieten down. I mean
Jennifer’s trying to sleep.
SWAP
I’m not surprised she’s tired after
the other night.
Swap and Cia laugh. Daz rolls his eyes.
CIA
Why the fuck haven’t we stopped?
DAZ
Because there hasn’t been anywhere
to pull over in the last five
miles. There’s a service station
not too far away.
CIA
Just make sure they have food, or
I’ll cover you in petrol and set
you on fire.
DAZ
Harsh.
CIA
Harsh but fair, seriously; I love
you man but I will kill you to get
something down my neck.
SWAP
I’ll put some...
CIA
Something other than that.
SWAP
Sheesh, you try and do a guy a
favour.
Cia shoves Swap.
DAZ
Okay, I’ll pull over.
CUT TO:
EXT. MOTORWAY - SERVICE STATION
Cia’s Dad’s car pulls into a service station.
INT. CIA’S DAD’S CAR – NIGHT
Cia looks at the sign as they drive into the Service
Station.
CIA
Little Chef? What are we six?
SWAP
What you couldn’t wait until we hit
a McDonalds?. Ba Da Ba Da Da; I’M
NOT LOVING THIS!
DAZ
I didn’t do this to spite you. Cia
is going on about stopping so we’re
stopping...
SWAP
Yeah, well; they better have
nuggets
CIA
Eurgh, I can’t believe we’re going
into Little Chef; we’re not even
bloody truck drivers.
Daz parks the car.
DAZ
Do you want to eat or not?
Cia contemplates for a second.
CIA
You’re a pain in my ass Darren.
Cia gets out of the car and slams the door. Swap follows
suit. Daz smiles to himself.
DAZ
You wish.
Jennifer and Daz exit the vehicle.
CUT TO:
INT. LITTLE CHEF – NIGHT
Cia and Swap are standing at the counter as Jennifer and Daz
are seen entering behind. Swap and Cia contemplate what they
want to eat.
SWAP
Yeah, so do you have McNuggets?
LITTLE CHEF WORKER
We have Chicken Nuggets, sir.
SWAP
Are they like McNuggets?
LITTLE CHEF WORKER
They’re just chic...
CIA
He’s big on McNuggets, can we have
two chicken nuggets; make them
large.
SWAP
Fries too.
CIA
(Calling to Daz)
You want some food man?
DAZ
No, I’m --
ANGLE ON:
Daz who looks at Jennifer.
DAZ (CONT’D)
I’m good.
BACK TO CIA AND SWAP
The Little Chef worker goes to get the orders.
CIA
I bet they spit in our food because
you asked for fucking McNuggets.
SWAP
They won’t.
CIA
They better not, I’ve got to eat
this shit man.
SWAP
You’ve had worse things down your
throat.
CIA
I’m a bad aim, so sue me. Look I
need a piss.
SWAP
Me too.
CIA
(To Daz)
Yo, Frodo; we’re going for a piss.
You cool to get our orders?
DAZ (O.S)
Yeah, whatever man.
Swap and Cia walk off as a woman who is also standing at the
till looks on in disgust at Cia’s disregard for manors.
CUT TO:
INT. LITTLE CHEF, GANG’S TABLE – NIGHT
Jennifer yawns and stretches as Daz sits opposite her. He
tries not to look at her. She catches his glance.
JENNIFER
Can I ask you something?
Daz is surprised she’s talking to him.
DAZ
Who, me?
JENNIFER
Yes you, who else would I be
talking to?
DAZ
I don’t know, it’s just girls don’t
usually talk to me -- unless
they’re asking for something or
want to know what meds Cia’s on.
Jennifer laughs.
JENNIFER
Why are you friends with Cia? I
mean you’re like total opposites.
DAZ
I don’t know, I guess we’ve just
been stuck together so long I’m
used to having him around. Besides,
if I didn’t put up with him, nobody
else would.
JENNIFER
What about Swap? He and Cia seem
pretty close.
DAZ
Well Swap -- well Swap’s kind of
hard to describe.
JENNIFER
I know what you mean.
DAZ
So how long have you and Swap known
each other?
JENNIFER
Not long actually -- Two Days.
DAZ
(Surprised)
Two Days! And you agreed to go on a
road trip with him? Christ I’ve
known Swap for years and I even I
wasn’t sure about coming.
Jennifer and Daz giggle.
JENNIFER
What’s the deal with you and Swap?
You two don’t seem to get on to
well.
DAZ
Well I wouldn’t say we don’t get
on, we just have different world
perspectives.
JENNIFER
And what’s your perspective?
Daz looks at her.
DAZ
Well, right now I’d say my
perspective is good.
Jennifer rolls her eyes and laughs to herself.
JENNIFER
Smooth.
DAZ
Yeah, I’m kind of out of practice
when it comes to talking to members
of the opposite sex.
JENNIFER
No kidding.
CUT TO:
INT. LITTLE CHEF, BATHROOM – NIGHT
Swap and Cia are standing at the urinal, Cia looks over
towards Swap and proceeds to look down.
CIA
I’m Everest and you’re some hill in
Wales.
Swap looks at Cia’s crotch
SWAP
Size isn’t everything, it’s what
you do with it.
CIA
Is that what Jennifer said to
comfort you and your small penis?
SWAP
I’m a grower not a shower. And
besides, this thing is a fucking
machine.
CIA
It’s a Spectrum to my iMac; but if
you care to wager on your "machine"
I’m sure something can be arranged.
SWAP
What do you have in mind?
CIA
I would say jizzing contest but Daz
won’t speak to me if I do it again.
So what if it was a school
bathroom, a cubical equals private
space in my eyes. Let’s just see
who can piss up the wall furthest.
SWAP
Why not, it’s Little Chef; I’m sure
these walls have been hit with
worse times.
Swap and Cia proceed to urinate up the urinal and eventually
onto the tiled wall above.
CIA
Where was I when Brighton Pier
burned down? Fuck the fire brigade,
this hose will take out anything.
SWAP
You know in "A New Hope" when Obi
Wan gets killed at the hands of
Vader; that happened because he
didn’t have THIS.
Cia grasps his penis whilst making light sabre sounds.
CIA
I’m running out of juice here man.
SWAP
So am I, the first to finish loses.
The two proceed to moan as if they’re trying to shake out
every last drop of urine as a young boy, 12; enters into the
bathroom. He looks on shocked before running out with haste.
Swap eventually is the last to finish urinating and raises
his hands in the air in victory.
CIA
Watch the fucking hands, I don’t
want your piss spit all over me.
SWAP
Whatever, all this standing up has
made me hungry; let’s go.
CIA
You not going to wash your hands?
SWAP
Hey man, all day I’m touching dirty
shit that don’t belong to me -- and
then I touch my penis. If anything
I should be washing beforehand, at
least I know where my dick’s been.
Besides, piss is sterile.
CUT TO:
INT. LITTLE CHEF – NIGHT
Swap and Cia enter back into the main restaurant area as
Swap gives Daz and Jennifer a look of jealousy as he sees
them speaking to one another. Cia looks over onto the table
and sees no food, he approaches Daz.
CIA
Where’s the food man?
DAZ
Um...
CIA
You didn’t get the fucking food?
What the fuck’s wrong with you? --
Christ you always do this to me
Darren -- it’s times like this when
I -- Thin ice -- You’re on thin ice
motherfucker!
JENNIFER
Hey, Cia, can I ask you something?
Have you taken your meds today?
Daz and Jennifer laugh.
CIA
Hey Jennifer, can I ask you
something? SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Swap...
SWAP
I’m on it.
Swap kisses Jennifer.
DAZ
Look man, I’m sorry. I was
distracted. And my name is not
Darren.
Jennifer pushes Swap off of her. Daz gets up to walk towards
the counter.
JENNIFER
Hey Daz, wait up. I’ll give you a
hand.
CIA
Well there’s a first time for
everything.
SWAP
He should be so lucky.
Cia sits at the table with Swap.
ANGLE ON:
Daz and Jennifer talking and giggling at the counter.
BACK TO CIA AND SWAP
SWAP (CONT’D)
What do you thinks’ going on with
them?
CIA
Nothing, how long do you think the
food’s gonna be?
SWAP
Do you ever stop thinking about
your stomach?
CIA
Yeah, to think about my dick and
Miley Cyrus.
SWAP
Usually at the same time.
CIA
It’s the best of both worlds.
Daz and Jennifer approach with two trays of food. They put
them down and as they exchange smiles. Swap looks on
disapprovingly.
SWAP
Finally some dead chicken.
CUT TO:
EXT. LITTLE CHEF – NIGHT
Swap, Cia, Daz and Jennifer exit Little Chef and approach
the car; Daz takes the drivers position as Cia goes to get
in next to him.
JENNIFER
Can I take the front?
CIA
If I can take your back.
SWAP
Knock it off.
JENNIFER
Seriously, I’m not feeling well;
I’d like to sit in the front.
DAZ
Maybe you should just let her man.
CIA
(Mockingly)
Maybe you should just let her man.
Daz rolls his eyes as Jennifer taps her foot impatiently.
CIA
Swap, what do you think?
SWAP
(obviously annoyed)
I don’t give a fuck, come back here
and let me own you at Mario Kart
DS.
CIA
You brought Mario Kart? Take the
front bitch.
JENNIFER
(Sarcastically)
Thank you.
Cia exits the front seat hastily as Jennifer gives him looks
of disgust, she enters into the front as Daz quietly smiles
to himself.
They pull out of the car park and are on their way once
again.
CUT TO:
[/b]
EXT. MOTORWAY – DAY The car continues down the motorway throughout the day.
EXT/INT. MOTORWAY, CIA’S DADS CAR – EVENING Cia’s dad’s is parked on the side of the road as cars go
past on the busy motorway; Swap is asleep in the back of the
car as Daz, Jennifer and Cia stand on the side of the road,
it seems they have BROKEN DOWN.
DAZYeah, let’s throw away the phone;
our only means of contact to
anybody that could get us out of a
situation like this, good one Cia.
Now we’re stuck out here, with no
phone, and no petrol.
CIAHow was I supposed to know it
wasn’t full, I don’t have a fucking
Petrol Spidey sense.
DAZDid you not think to check? We’re
going on a road trip, you need
PETROL to go on a fucking road
trip!
CIAYou didn’t check either Sherlock;
and you were the one driving the
fucking thing. You had gauges and
shit in front of you and you didn’t
even notice so don’t fucking pin
this on me alright?--
JENNIFER(Butting in)Let’s just think rationally about
this, surely there’s a petrol
station somewhere around here.
CIAWe’re on a fucking motorway.
JENNIFERYeah; motorways have service
stations; it’s just a case of
getting to one; grabbing some
petrol and getting on our way.
DAZShe’s right, we just need to--
CIA(Manically)We just need to what? It’s getting
dark man, we’re gonna fucking die
out here and be forgotten man.
DAZWe’re not gonna be forgotten, look;
why doesn’t one of us go looking
for a service station? Cia?
CIANo way, I’m not going alone man;
there could be fucking rapists out
there.
JENNIFER(Under breath)Even they’re not that desperate.
DAZWake Swap up then, but it’s down to
you; this is your fault man. I’m
not taking the rap for your fucking
idiocy.
Cia is obviously confused as to why Daz is taking a stand
against him, he’s certainly not used to it. He doesn’t want
to look upset in front of a smug Jennifer; so approaches the
car window and bangs on it waking Swap.
SWAPWhat the fuck?
CIABlame Sam-not-so-wise Gamgee We’ve
gotta go get fucking petrol.
SWAPFuck...
EXT. MOTORWAY - NIGHT Cia and Swap walk precariously down the side of the motorway.
they walk past a sign that informs them the next service
station is a mile away.
SWAPA BLOODY MILE! Not even Jen is this
much exercise.
CIAWell I didn’t exactly have this in
mind when I suggested we go on this
little adventure.
SWAPI’m starting to wonder why the fuck
you asked me to come.
CIAI didn’t, you invited yourself.
SWAPIf I wouldn’t have come you’d have
been left with X-tard.
CIAShut up, you love him really.
SWAPLove? It’s anything but. I only
pretend to like him on occasion to
keep you happy.
CIAShut up, you know you like having
him around.
SWAPOk I’ll admit, on the odd occasion
when he’s not talking about Gambo
and Jean Gay he’s tolerable.
Cia and Swap laugh as they continue to walk down the road.
INT. CIA’S DADS CAR – NIGHT Daz and Jennifer sit in the front of the car. Daz goes
through his bag, and pulls out a laptop computer.
JENNIFERYou brought a Laptop on a Road
Trip?
DAZI’m kind of a writer. I’m working
on a screenplay. And it’s got a DVD
player.
Daz pulls the DVD he purchased earlier on from the bag. Jen
smiles.
JENNIFERThis screenplay, is that the one
Swap was telling me about, the
X-men one?
DAZNo, I finished that one a while
ago.
JENNIFEROh, awesome. You know, I always
liked Cyclops.
DAZReally? You like X-Men?
JENNIFERI don’t dislike it. My brothers
used to watch the cartoon on
Saturday Mornings so I got used to
it.
DAZOh.
JENNIFERYeah, Cyclops always had a boy
scout quality that I loved though.
DAZ(Awkwardly)Ok.
JENNIFERSo you like movies?
DAZYeah.
JENNIFERSo what’s your favourite?
DAZWell, as you’ve probably guessed
from Swap and Cia’s nicknames, I
like Lord of the Rings. I’m also a
big fan of the Terminator movies --
JENNIFERMe too!
DAZReally?
JENNIFERYeah, robots sent through time to
kill people. What’s not to like?
Jen and Daz exchange smiles. There’s a KNOCK on the window.
It’s Swap. He shakes a Petrol can in front of Daz.
SWAPSorry to break up the tea party but
I think it’s about time we get out
of here.
CUT TO: INT. CIA’S DADS CAR – NIGHT Daz is driving as Jennifer sits in the passenger seat, she
seems to be dropping off to sleep; Swap is already sleeping
in the back as Cia continues to play his Nintendo DS.
DAZI think we should stop for the
night Cia.
CIANot yet man, let’s get somewhere
before we stop. We’ve hardly
covered any fucking ground today.
DAZI’m tired though, so is everyone
else; I think we should just stop.
Besides we have nowhere to "get"
to. We’ve been driving in random
directions for three days.
CIAJust pull over and I’ll drive, you
can sleep in the back.
DAZYou’re going to drive?
CIAYeah why not.
DAZRemind me, who crashed the
instructors car into a tree during
their driving test?
CIAThere was a cat in the middle of
the fucking road, did you want me
to kill the cat? Are you saying
you’d want to have that cats death
on your hands? You really do
disgust me sometimes, it’s all that
fucking fantasy shit you re--
DAZLook, my back can’t take much more
of these car seats. I’m pulling
over.
CIADo whatever you want to do man, you
obviously don’t give a fuck what I
think.
DAZDon’t be like that.
CIAI’m being like that, now fuck off
to Elderon or some shit. By the way
if I wasn’t playing a video game,
I’d be giving the one finger salute
to end this fucking conversation.
CUT TO: EXT. PREMIER INN, CAR PARK – NIGHT The car pulls into the Premier Inn car park, Daz parks up in
the nearest space as Cia quickly leaves the car; SLAMMING
the door shut waking Jennifer & Swap.
SWAPWhere are we?
DAZPremier Inn.
SWAPFirst Little Chef and now a Premier
Inn. Living the life aren’t you
Daz.
DAZSorry there’s no Hilton’s on the
side of the road.
SWAPI don’t know man, that Paris is
pretty much in the gutter.
Swap yawns and slowly makes his way into the Premier Inn.
Daz and Jennifer follow.
CUT TO: INT. PREMIER INN, RECEPTION – NIGHT Daz has taken the responsibility of getting the rooms as
Cia, Swap and Jennifer stand in the lobby in silence.
DAZOkay, so I was only able to get two
rooms; they’re pretty full.
CIAPretty full of shit, you know I
need my personal space; what the
fuck are we gonna do with two
rooms.
DAZIt’s all they have, just deal with
it. I guess Jennifer needs to "be"
with Swap.
JENNIFERExcuse me?
DAZI--
CIA(Sarcastically)Wow you’re making friends quickly
tonight.
JENNIFERYou know what, never mind; let’s go
Swap.
SWAPNight fuckers. Enjoy sharing the
room together, I always knew you
two were homos.
The RECEPTIONIST is startled by Swap’s outburst. Swap and
Jennifer leave for their room as Daz looks on in annoyance,
obviously upset.
CIAWay to fuck things up.
Congratulations, you get to sleep
on the floor...Idiot.
DAZ(To Cia who has now begun to
walk off screen)I’m the idiot? That’s fucking
rich...
Daz grabs his bags and follows on, looking annoyed at the
prospect of sharing a room with his supposed "best friend."
CUT TO: INT. PREMIER INN, DAZ AND CIA’S ROOM – NIGHT Daz is sitting at the dressing table, his laptop is opened
and he is typing away. Cia is sitting on the double bed,
playing his DS. There is an awkward silence between the two.
CIAIs someone gonna fucking talk
tonight? This is worse than a deaf
mute convention for fuck sake.
Daz turns to Cia.
DAZHow would a Deaf Mute have a verbal
conversation idiot? I would talk
but you never listen to me or how I
feel about things; you’re the
fucking deaf mute.
CIAWho’s the big man now, huh Daz? One
bit of worthless ass comes along
and you’re suddenly saying all this
shit to me? Some friend...
DAZIt’s not because of Jennifer, and
I’d appreciate it if you didn’t
speak about her like that; these
are things I’ve wanted to say for a
while.
CIASince when? We were fine yesterday.
Ever since you’ve been all chummy
with Jenny Bear you’ve been acting
strangely. Taking her side, arguing
with me about every little thing.
And now you’re deciding to say all
this shit, and for what? To fucking
impress little miss thing? To show
her you actually have a set; and
aren’t some geeky little shit so
wrapped up in his own damn fantasy
world he doesn’t even see what his
friends are trying to do for him.
DAZThis isn’t about proving anything
to anyone. And what have you and
Swap ever done for me? Other than
embarrass me by ranting and raving
in some DVD store and pissing up
restaurant walls.
CIASince when is Little Chef a
Restaurant?
DAZSee, this is what I mean. You never
give me a chance to finish. I can
never get a word in when you’re off
in one of your stupid rants. "Let’s
go on a road-trip, come on Daz
it’ll be fun" - It’s been so
fucking fun, Cia. You’ve eaten
chicken nuggets and made idiotic
jokes that nobody cares about.
"Let’s fulfil our dreams" NO.
Nobody cares about our dreams,
nobody cares about YOU. I’m
starting to question exactly why
the fuck I agreed to come on this
trip and I’m certainly starting to
see who my real friends are.
Cia is obviously extremely upset, but he’s going to be
stubborn about the situation; as always.
CIAYou know what Darren; I don’t know
why the fuck you came either.
Because there’s nobody here that
considers you a fucking friend.
DAZGood, that’s fine.
Daz turns back to his screen play and begins typing once
again, Cia gets up from the bed and approaches the door.
CIA(Under breath)Wanker.
ANGLE ON:
Daz who is clearly upset.
CUT TO: INT. PREMIER INN, SWAP AND JENNIFER’S ROOM – NIGHT Swap lays on the bed as Jennifer sits at the desk looking
into the mirror.
SWAPSo, fancy a ride on the Swap?
JENNIFERIs that all you ever think about?
SWAPYou know what, it’s funny because
me and Cia had a similar
conversation at Little Chef.
JENNIFERWhy don’t you go fuck him then?
SWAPWhat? What the hell is wrong with
you today?
JENNIFERMe? Why is it me? You and your
stupid friend have done nothing but
insult me since I got in the car.
Only one person has actually taken
the time to talk to me --
SWAPFrodo -- What has he been saying to
you?
JENNIFERHis name is DALE & nothing.
SWAPHe won’t be able to say anything
when I get through with him.
Swap gets up from the bed and storms out the door. Jen gets
up from her chair and calls after him.
JENNIFERSwap? --
CUT TO: INT. PREMIER INN ROOM - DAZ AND CIA – NIGHT The door bursts open and Swap enters.
CIACAN’T I get some fucking peace in
this place? JESUS CHRIST. Cia gets
off the bed and heads out of the
room.
SWAPWho stuck a rod up his ass?
DAZFuck off Swap, I’m not in the mood.
Daz throws a pillow at Swap and forces him out of the door.
SWAPAll right I’m going.
CUT TO: INT. PREMIER INN, RECEPTION – NIGHT Cia enters the reception and approaches a lounging area, he
takes a seat on one of the sofas and stares off blankly;
thinking about nothing but the things Daz just said to him.
As he looks around the room, not taking anything in;
something on the wall catches his eye, he approaches it;
it’s a POSTER advertising a FILM AND MUSIC FESTIVAL in
Paris.
Cia looks around before ripping the poster off the wall and
making his way back towards the lift.
CUT TO: INT. PREMIER INN, DAZ AND CIA’S ROOM – NIGHT Daz is sitting, almost in tears thinking about the argument
with Cia as he comes bursting through the door. Daz quickly
pretends to be typing as Cia approaches.
CIAWe’re going to Paris.
DAZ(Pretending not to care)What?
CIAWe’re going to Paris, there’s a
music and film festival there; what
better way to celebrate my 18th?
DAZHave fun.
Cia sits down on the bed behind Daz, Daz turns to him and
glares with the most stubborn of looks.
CIALook man, you’re my best friend; I
don’t care what was said here
tonight. All I care about is
spending the most important
birthday of my life with you, now;
in Paris. I don’t care if you’re
into Lord of the Rings or if you
like to look at Anime pictures of
Mystique naked--
DAZI don--
CIAAll that matters is that we do this
together, amigos, brothers;
whatever the fuck we are to each
other. We’ve done everything
together since we were four years
old; why should this be any
different? I’m asking you right
now, to give me a second chance and
let me show you the friend I can
be.
Daz contemplates for a second.
DAZI guess we’re off to Paris.
CIA(Smiling like crazy)So we’re on?
DAZWe’re on. Just remind me to kill
you if we ever argue again.
CIADone.
The two high five each other and smile.[/center]
